For the past year or two, I’ve been messing around with OKCupid. Mostly I just log on late at night, grumble to myself about the slim pickings’, and send a couple of semi-desperate messages to guys who I think are in my “range.”
Ten months ago, however, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and actually meet up with a quality specimen, with whom I had been messaging somewhat regularly. We went out for drinks at a whiskey bar. He was late, but paid for my drinks and had a nice personality. Unfortunately, there was pretty much no chemistry. I was bored when he kissed me, so I sent him packing pretty early in the evening, rented The Hunger Games from a Redbox, and swung through the drive thru at In-n-Out. It ended up being a great night.
I assumed that, after a delicately worded text message about not being ready for a commitment, we would probably never talk again. He texted me back, a little bummed out, but understanding. And that was the last I heard from him.
Fast forward to five months later. I get a message on OkCupid that says just, “How you been?” I ignore it, because I don’t want to give the poor guy any false hope. And THAT was the last I heard from him.
About three months after the misguided message, I get a text from him on a Friday night at 10:30pm that says simply, “What’s up?” I ignore it, because maybe after two times, he’ll get the message. And he disappeared into the abyss of the internet never to be heard from again.
A month after that, I get another text. “Sup with you?” Um…the same nothing that has been up the last two times you attempted to contact me. Now, if I say he never tried to contact me again after that, I bet you wouldn’t believe me. But rest assured, that was it.
I’m starting to feel bad for preying on your trusting nature. Anyways, two weeks after that, I get another OKC message: “Yo how r u?” Anyone else feel like he’s mentally regressing as time passes? Obviously, I ignored him again. Eventually, he’ll get it, right?
One week after the message, I get another text. Another fucking text. “What’s up?” At this point, it has been almost ten months since I last saw or interacted at all with this dude. I haven’t given him any glimmer of hope since the date itself. Sticking to my bitchy guns, I once again refused to respond.
And THAT, folks, is the last time I heard from him. Granted, it hasn’t even been a full month since the last contact.
All of my irritation aside, this situation begs the question: how long should it take a guy to take the hint?
This time, I really, really didn’t mean to lie to you. Two days after I wrote this article, I got another “What’s up?” text. Now I’m taking a poll: should I respond and tell him to fuck off? Or live to let him desperately text me again?
Thanks fstatuses for the clear and concise message.
Jen Kleinrock is the Social Media Editor at Dating & Hookup. She lives in Los Angeles, but was reared in Nashville, Tennessee, where you always hear Country Music whether you're downtown, at the mall, at the gynocologist, at the park, in the bathroom, behind the fridge, or up on the roof. Moving to LA meant she could finally take out her earplugs. And the whole world rejoiced.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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