“These [Chris Matthews & Rachel Maddow] are not people who have Black friends, who know Black people…Oh, sorry, except, you know, Lawrence O’Donnell and Bill Maher, who date Black gals. So they think they’re freedom riders.”
- Ann Coulter discussing White liberals during a Fox & Friends appearance
I had no idea that my white boyfriend was a civil rights activist. Here I was thinking my interracial relationship was like any other: hanging out, watching Netflix, and gaining “I’m in love” weight. Nope, sorry. Apparently, Coulter believes that just like Fight Club, there are very important rules when it comes to a white man/black woman coupling. Like perhaps that the first rule of dating a black woman must be to crash a historical reenactment in Colonial Williamsburg and rub your United Colors of Benetton clad Jungle Fever love in the faces of all these powdered wig wearing White folk. Okay, okay, so maybe she doesn’t believe all that; however, her implying that an interracial couple such as mine is rooted in him singing to me We Shall Overcome every night before we go to bed is not only ludicrous but also reduces our relationship to nothing more than a reaction against racism, and more importantly, a reaction against Whiteness. Look, I understand that she’s in the business of provocation as means of selling books so she she might not care about how her comments come across however, I think it’s time that she heeds the advice every Black mom gives her children when she takes them to the hair salon: “Sit your Black behind down and act like you got some sense.” True, Ms. Coulter isn’t Black, but the sentiment still applies.
Adore Kanye West; I always have. I love his music, think he’s incredibly smart, and the scope of his ambition is inspiring to me. I’m completely un-ironic when I call him a genius, which is something I do on the reg. I found this totally beautiful. And this melted my heart. Weirdly, all of his ridiculous antics and outbursts read, to me, as vulnerability, which makes me love him even more. (For the record, he was right. That Taylor Swift video was terrible.) I know; I’m crazy. I could expand upon my long history of pining for unlike able ego-maniacs (e.g. Kobe Bryant, Justin Bobby, ahem… Scott Disick) but that’s a story for another day. The heart wants what it wants.
Speaking of inexplicable and passionate stances of the heart, I hate Kim Kardashian. Or rather, I have a very complicated relationship with Kim Kardashian. That is, I outwardly loathe her, but also give the woman a LOT of attention. I watch her show, but tell people it’s only because of Mason and his amazing hair. I regularly check her Instagram, but don’t actually follow her. Because actually following her would signal to the world that I was a fan of hers, or something, and I’m too cool/smart/proud to admit that.
Kate Middleton’s official royal portrait was unveiled to the world and was met with pure snarkiness. Uproxx labeled it “unfortunate.” Jezebel titled their article, “Do You Think Kate Middleton Cried After Seeing Her Official Portrait?” (You know I love you, Jezebel, but that bummed me out. Are you really tearing down women for how they look? Why?) BlackBook magazine called it, “terrifying.” What the hell?
I think that at this point, we’re so used to seeing overly photoshopped images, the kind where actresses are so digitally altered that they look like mannequins sliding into the Uncanny Valley, that Middleton’s painting came as a shock. I hate to describe Middleton as brave, because it’s pathetic that showing famous women with wrinkles and minor flaws is a brave thing to do, but she is.
In this article, a professional Millennial woman wonders why she and her peers can’t find dateable men. She cites the usual suspects: being career-minded and a deficit of high-quality available dudes (paired with a surplus of educated, ambitious, gorgeous women).
But I’m not buying it.
What it sounds like is: they’re barely trying when it comes to love. While priding themselves on the effort they’ve put into their educations, careers and stylish closets, they seem equally proud of being too busy dominating the world to meet men (and not wasting time on guys who aren’t “really amazing”).
Question: How does one know if something could be amazing if they’re unwilling to “waste time” on someone who isn’t amazing on first impression?
The Twitter exchanges between Chris Brown and Jenny Johnson finally got so ugly last weekend that Brown shut down his account. In case you don’t know her, Jenny Johnson is best known by her Twitter handle, @JennyJohnsonHi5, and though there are many “celebrity snipers” out there, she is considered by her Twitter peers to be one of the best. And last week, she started a Twitter war with Chris Brown.
Personally, I’m not fond of the way she initiates her bullying and I have been very fickle by following/unfollowing her after reading slut-shaming comments toward Kim Kardashian. I figure you can only make so many jokes about dating preferences and sex tapes before they become redundant. Still, she gets a laugh out of me when she brings attention to the illiterate nature of Tara Reid’s tweets.
But the negative attention she caused Chris Brown, convicted abuser, is a little bit of a different story. I have to wonder, was the exchange she provoked with Brown a necessary evil? Yes, I’d say, except, it’s the kind of garish, dramatic fight we’ve already had many times when discussing violence against women. Instead, I wonder not only whether we should hold celebrities responsible for the examples they set to the public, but about our own responsibility to set the tone of the conversation around it.
Two-thousand-twelve will be the year I traveled 190.2 miles on Amtrak and paid $200 in order to vote.
In the best of times, this year, I moved into a fancy Manhattan skyscraper. In the worst of ‘em, there is still no heat in said building because of Hurricane Sandy. I weathered the windy fray with the Epic-Love-Man-of-My-Life at his house in Philadelphia (or can I now say “our house” because in a manic fit of tropical storm-inspired cabin fever, I started rearranging all the closets and furniture?)
Without my home in NYC, I have found myself an unexpected but surprisingly cheery resident of suburban Philly, walking my dog in the beautiful park, shopping “organic” at the local food co-op, and frequenting the CVS around the corner to pick up all the prescriptions called in by my Upper West Side shrink.
The downside? I’m still registered to vote in Brooklyn. And this election cycle has driven me into such a state of mad paranoia and distress that even though I live in the bluest of blue states, and thanks to the Electoral College there’s no conceivable way my personal vote could really “matter,” I feel I could not live with myself if I did not make the trek and cast this vote in my former neighborhood.
photo via Blueberry Morning
Did you know, ladies, that when you reach sexual climax, 80 out of all 80 different regions of your brain ALL hit maximum activity? As seen on MRI scans performed on masturbating women at Rutgers University, your brain on orgasm looks like a cracked out, brightly lit and twinkling Christmas wreath. Therefore, posit the scientists involved (and ABC News – how ironically, I can’t tell) – our womanly orgasms are “all in our heads.”
So what do our brains look like when we’re faking it? Doesn’t seem like any research is being done to that point.
I was shocked (shocked!) to learn that one of the answers in the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle was “sext.” It’s not that I wouldn’t love to sext with crossword editor Will Shortz, who is such a linguistic genius that it would probably revolutionize the practice.
The post-dating world is full of questions. Who should pay? Do men like smart and powerful women? (and do we even care what they like?) What counts as “getting old?” Is pole dancing good for your sexual and spiritual life? These questions – and more! – answered in this week’s WTF-worthy links…
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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