Someone give the Bachelorette producers an Emmy, please. Ten Emmys. Actually, let’s just cancel the entire Emmy telecast and send the whole truck full of winged atom statuettes to the producers’ houses. Throw in a few Grammys and a Tony, too, while you’re at it.
Why am I, the most cynical of Bachelorette viewers, demanding these accolades? Simple. Because amidst the ubiquitous helicopter rides, deserted Tahitian islands and rose petal-strewn couples’ fantasy suites, I am truly starting to see my own love life, and the love lives of so many of the women I know, in this show. It’s genius.
We’ve already established that Ali is cultivating relationships with a dah of Bachelors not unlike the guys who are in our dahs. We’ve seen her relationships with these guys evolve and sneak up on her and fall prey to the tricks of the professional wrestling world. And now, we’ve got evidence that, as Becky and I have been saying all along, Dating & Hookup is not simply a convenient way for women to emotionally detach from the guys in our lives and treat them like disposable playthings. It’s not about being a player.
Dating & Hookup often leads to love. And, all too often, it leads to heartbreak.
I’ve heard the same argument many times, from guys in particular. If the girl I like has a dah, and the guys in her dah are fulfilling her various needs, then why will she need and want me? Won’t women stop falling in love, if they get used to spreading their attention and energy around and avoid investing fully in one guy? Isn’t this the end of love, and of committed relationships? The end of civilization as we know it???
Anyone who watched the latest episode of The Bachelorette knows that the answer to that one.
Welcome back to our sorta-bi-weekly-seasonal-annual-whenever-I’m-in-the-mood Bachelorette recaps! And boy, oh boy, what a tumultuous few weeks it’s been. Remember in my last recap, when I said that “the beauty of Dating & Hookup” is that “the guys, and the roles they play, are constantly rotating and evolving, based on your interactions with them?” (when did I start quoting myself? am I getting too big for my britches?) Well, Ali’s dah is practically unrecognizable these days! And sadly, I mean that in a bad way.
In the last recap, I also made the mistake of commending Ali on her dah-management skills and reminding her, “If you’re really, truly looking for love, then it’s probably best that you continue avoiding Ex-Boyfriends, Super Horny Guys, Unavailable Guys and Career Boosters.” Well…apparently she’s not reading this blog. Crap.
Once upon a time, I promised to blog about the latest season of The Bachelorette on a weekly basis. I was truly committed to doing this, especially after getting so much feedback and discovering that I am not the only one who is (not-so-)secretly following The Extensioned One’s search for love.
But then, other things came up. Becky and I went to the Sex and the City 2 premiere and rambled on the radio. There were love poems to analyze and Hot Sex Prospects to hook up with. And…what else…I also had to eat and sleep and wash my hair…
Okay, fine, you got me. Truth be told, a small but significant part of me dies every time I sit down to write intelligent, thoughtful things about a show where guys look earnestly into a camera and say things like “She means the world to me” and “I’m going to prove that I love Ali!” after only knowing the girl for a few days.
But a deal is a deal! And let’s face it – I’m going to keep watching. If I don’t blog about it, then I’ll have to admit that I’m watching it solely for my own enjoyment, and not for some greater societal purpose. And that can’t happen.
So just in time for tonight’s new episode…
At first glance, no television show seems to understand and embrace the post-dating world LESS than The Bachelor and its sister show The Bachelorette, which began its sixth season with new Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky on Monday.
Apparently, people care about The Bachelor again. And apparently, I suddenly care about The Bachelor. I’d never seen an episode of the schmaltzy show before this season, but somehow the lure of red roses, romantic waterfalls and teary confessions of love were just too much for this post-dating chick to resist. All the shirtless shots of Jake the Pilot weren’t so bad, either.
So now that I’ve already forfeited your respect, I’d like to share the following impassioned conversation that occurred over my Facebook wall after tonight’s finale. In between all the Bachelorisms, you’ll discover a fascinating psychological theory on how to find true love. Don’t say Vienna never taught you nothing!
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