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So… anyone else out there watching “Are You The One?” That is, besides me and 13 year old girls? Don’t judge me, alright. The show is addictive. It involves 10 guys and 11 girls all searching for their “Perfect Match.” If, by the end of 10 weeks, they all pair off correctly they win $1 million. (To split, I guess? That’s not much money divided between 20 people and accounting for taxes… but something tells me people old enough to be paying taxes aren’t exactly this show’s target demo.)
It’s easy to get invested in “Are You The One?” because there’s a mystery to solve: who is everyone’s perfect match? Also, that young man Anthony is not unattractive.
I’m currently watching Never Been Kissed (which I own on DVD, but love watching when it comes on TV because it reminds me of simpler times when it was the only way you could catch your favorite movie) and thinking to myself, “They just don’t make them like they used to.”
They just don’t!
The mid to late nineties spawned an unrepeatable generation of teen romantic comedies, predominantly loosely based on timeless stories from literature. What a genius way to make a bunch of butterfly clip wearing, self-obsessed teens learn valuable lessons from great stories. Also, the soundtracks. My god, the soundtracks.
Because I’m feeling old and nostalgic, and channeling my inner teen — who takes up A LOT of room — here’s a list of the best of the best movies that taught us that finding love in high school is like, so totally possible.
If you, like me, have been addicted to the American treasure/horror show that is “Bachelor in Paradise” this summer, you are familiar with this invitation from ABC.
At first glance, this may sound like a tempting offer. Who doesn’t want to find true love? Who doesn’t want to be on television? But I’m here to advise you otherwise. In fact, in order to prove why you shouldn’t go on “The Bachelor,” I’ve run the numbers.
How I Met Your Mother is one of those shows I wouldn’t have given a chance to if someone hadn’t turned it on while I was in the room. The title threw me off — it sounded like a cheesy, silly show. But I was wrong. I was so wrong it was legend–wait for it–dary. (Sorry, couldn’t resist).
I can’t believe that it’s over. Though I got into the show a few years after it premiered, I caught up, and quickly — it was addictive. I’ve been there through all of Ted’s girlfriends, mother material (Victoria) and pure ratings boosters (Katy Perry). I’ve seen all of Barney’s plays, both ridiculous and genius (and some a combination of both). And I’ve suffered through countless Ted/Robin breakups. So here are 10 things How I Met Your Mother taught me, for which I will be forever grateful.
Note: this post was inspired by Simone of Skinny Dip, whose “10 Things I’ve Learned About Love From How I Met Your Mother” is a must read.
NOTE: This was written before the finale aired.
10. Everyone needs at least one good friend.
They were lucky enough to be a close-knitted fivesome. Not everyone can have 4 great friends they can rely on. It’s hard enough to make plans with one other person sometimes. But everyone needs at least one good friend to share their triumphs and failures with. Even if it’s your spouse. Lily and Marshall aren’t just a married couple — they’re best friends.
With the proliferation of dating websites, online profiles and matchmaking services, daters today have an incredible number of ways to meet each other. Truly, meeting the old fashioned way has become old fashioned. But amidst all of these new-fangled dating strategies, let us not forget the original Dating 2.0: TV Dating Shows!
This is the third in a series where I use my MBA class lessons to analyze the success of dating on television. Check out my previous entries on a statistical analysis of “Singled Out” and an economic view of “Blind Date.”
Up next: VH1’s Golden Age
[UPDATE: This was written before the finale aired. If you haven't seen part 2 of the finale yet, spoilers are ahead. And in fact there's a spoiler in this sentence, coming up: the man she wanted most, Brooks, rejected her, so she chose Chris. Carry on.]
The Bachelorette is the weirdest show on TV right now, and if you’re missing it, you need to catch up, because I can’t even describe the surreal level of weirdness that is happening on this seemingly stupid and fluffy television show. This season has been one of the most dramatic, and saddest. Because for the first time ever, we’ve seen real torment about what it’s like to simultaneously date twenty-five men and the pain that comes from having to turn down twenty-four men, and on the opposite side, the overwhelming fear and uncertainty that comes with a woman who is dating twenty-five men and wants you to marry her at the end of a staggeringly short two months.
This is the second in a series analyzing the success of dating on television. Check out my previous entry for a statistical breakdown of the popular 90’s MTV show “Singled Out.”
Up next: Blind Date!
If you’re anything like me, you spent many an afternoon watching “Blind Date” when you got home from school in the early nineties. For this reason, it holds a very special place in my heart. (Much like “Total Request Live,” and reruns of “Dawson’s Creek” and “90210.”) I also relate well to this show as a certified blind date aficionado; I have been set up on them by everyone from my friends, to my boss, to my doctor. Some of them went well, some of them were a horror show, but they were always a hysterical bumble of awkwardness that I’m sure were laughed at by everyone observing. Just like on the show!
Debuting in 1999, “Blind Date” ran for 7 seasons, giving it one of the longest on-air tenures of the entire Dating Show pantheon. Although, if you feel like you’ve seen “Blind Date” more recently than 2006, that is because it went into syndication on Spike TV, Fox Reality, and Reality TV One. “Blind Date,” man. Quite a juggernaut.
This shouldn’t come as a surprise, I suppose. I mean, what is more relatable and timeless than the tensions/excitement of being set up on a blind date?
Rachel Zoe is a rail thin, international, workaholic with a naggy husband and a needy child, and I’ve never wanted to be anyone more. As high priestess of fashion world, she has maj style clout living in her Maxis like it’s nobody’s business, and reigning tirelessly as the front-row fixture at all shows fashion week. I mean seriously, once you’re best friends with Marc Jacobs, you’re just winning life.
Skylar, her metrosexually boho toddler, incessantly rocks the onesie/necklace/fedora look, and her hubby Rog is businessy and… well, we’re still on the fence with what exactly he does, but all of the best businessmen are kinda mysterious, don’t you think? #BartBass. As a young Jewish shopaholic myself, Rachel’s life is my ultimate fantasy. Under all that Chanel, Rach and Rog have an enduring marriage, that’s outlasted both time and all their reality show successish shit. In this century riddled with hook-ups and Groupers, this 17 year long relationship makes marriage feel like a vintage trend that’s all the rage. Rach and Rog harken back to that old relic of Jew on Jew matrimony, the path I always thought my life would take, you know, back before I switched to public school.
With the proliferation of dating websites, online profiles, and matchmaking services, daters today have an incredible number of ways to meet each other. Truly, meeting the old fashioned way has become old fashioned. But amidst all of these new-fangled dating strategies, let us not forget the original Dating 2.0: TV Dating Shows! Indeed, people started seeking love on television almost as soon as it was a possibility (The Dating Game debuted in 1965.) And thank goodness, because (take it from a “Rock of Love” superfan) watching people court one another other makes for pretty fantastic entertainment.
Giuliana Ransick may seem like your average skinny betch Hollywood hostess with the mostess, but oh man is she more. She has the strength of a lioness wrapped in the frame of a skeleton, and she knows how to work it. I’d probably be skeletal too if I had three+ TV shows, two houses across the country to maintain, countless awards shows to red carpet, was a wife, was a mom, had cancer, and lord knows how many other things.
Speaking of me, Giuliana and I have treadmilled next to each other at the Chicago health club she and her husband Bill frequent along with none other than my parents, so don’t worry guys, we’re essentially kin. As seen on their Style Network show Giuliana&Bill, the duo have it fucking all. He won The Apprentice, people! America is their playground, and good for them. Despite having seriously arrived, hardships still befall them.
It is these difficulties life’s hand slaps across their faces that allows us opportunity to see a healthy relationship at work. Giuliana and Bill’s marriage is such a success because, unlike most reality TV couples, they choose to wade through the misery all the way to the happily ever after. American reality TV showcasing a healthy marriage? Whatever, you already know I love it.
My best friend and I have been talking about The West Wing a lot lately because, well, it’s The West Wing so it should always be talked about. In a funny conversation about the word “sexy” in which I called Joshua Lyman (played by the actually very sexy Bradley Whitford) the sexiest character ever on television, I began to ponder.
Who really are the sexiest characters ever to be on television?
Okay, I will rank them, but you guys should know that I am, thus far into my life, only sexually attracted to men, so these will be male characters. If I tried to talk about sexy male and female characters, I feel like the list would be all women because women are just more beautiful than men in general. Sorry dudes.
10. Uncle Jesse
John Stamos
Full House
Have merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrcy. Pretty sure John Stamos invented sexy, because things were only invented post-1987 because that’s when I was born and I am very self-centered. Not coincidentally, Full House premiered in 1987, hence the reason John Stamos invented sexy. He was even sexy with a mullet and literally no one else can be sexy with a mullet.
I fucking love to reminisce. If someone lets me, I’ll talk about stuff that happened 10 years ago for hours, especially if I’ve got a beer or 6 in me. Which is why watching Definitely, Maybe the other night was like watching porn for me. While it’s a pretty lame dramedy (rom-com?), it has Ryan Reynolds’ character interacting with 3 different women over a number of years, but he’s telling the stories to his daughter years after the fact, so it’s just like, 4 layers of nostalgia all wrapped up in one movie. It’s great. And it got me thinking about all the people I would talk about if my kiddo was like, “Tell me about The Main Men who were in your life because I would like a neat and easy to follow story!”
If that were to happen, and if I had to narrow it down to 3, I have no idea who I would tell my kid about. It’s impossible to try and figure out who in my life, ex-wise, has meant the most to me over the years. Does it default to the ones I still find myself thinking about to this day, or is it just human nature to wonder about past relationships? Would I talk about my first boyfriend?
With certain guys I dated, I wonder what would have happened if I could have just squashed my feelings of unhappiness a little longer or worked out the fight that sent me over the edge. Like, I doubt we’d be married now (any of us), but could we still be together? In reality, we might have had a little bit more time to make out, drive around, fall asleep on our parents’ couches together, but that’s it. Stuff that I wouldn’t remember now anyway. If you asked me what I remember about the time I spent with my last boyfriend, I could boil it down to maybe two things. One of the only things I specifically and consistently remember when I think about him and I together is something he said right after we first started dating. He told me that we liked each other so much, we should have our own TV show. It was cute. I’m pretty sure we were sitting in this big scoop chair in my teenage bedroom when he said it, under my stupid pastel drawings of The Beatles, and it’s just one of those things I knew I’d always remember. Like if I had a diary, I would have written that in with a big heart scribbled around it. Because it was cute. The other thing I remember is when we finally broke up. I don’t remember details about that, just how sad I felt about it all.