One of my favorite things to do is comb through Twitter for tweets that make me laugh out loud. Tweets that are so funny and so witty that I think, “Damn, why didn’t I think of that?” and just laugh. So I love being able to share these tweets with you in this series I call “Best Lady Tweets.” It’s all about finding those great tweets from some great Twitter ladies.
[Don, now old, sits at a bar] DON I used to work in advertising, you know. I did the ads for Lucky St– WAITRESS Ughhhhhhhh [End of show]
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) May 13 2021
“uh oh here come the yoga poses on the mountain” -scanning my friend’s Instagram
— claudia martin (@cloudypianos) May 13 2021
Just saw someone eat only half a candy bar and put the rest away so clearly she's a witch.
— :: shauna :: (@goldengateblond) May 27 2021
If someone asks "who is your favorite female comedian," a good response is "I don't know, what's your favorite female tree"
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) May 27 2021
When tourists get attacked by the wild animal they're posing next to for a photo, that's called natural selection.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 18 2021
We all get on the elevator like we're kittens for sale, pawing around a cardboard box.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) May 27 2021
"Do me" — a favor
— allison tanenhaus (@atanenhaus) May 19 2021
How To Be a Writer: 1 Date a writer 2 Stand behind them saying "Whatcha writin'?" till they grunt an answer 3 Say: "Oh, fun! I'm gonna try!"
— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) May 26 2021
"Did somebody order an organic gluten-free vegan sausage pizza?" – Hipster porn
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) May 27 2021
and your #1 Best Lady Tweet is…
Me: "Oh, my black eye? I was in a bar fight!" My stuffed animals: "NO SHE PULLED UP THE COVERS TOO HARD" Me: "I swear to fucking gd you guys
— Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) May 27 2021
That’s all for now, see you next tweet!
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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