Boy, did I have a crazy week. In a rush to watch Mad Men before it started, I ran from the kitchen, slipped, fell, and sprained my wrist and broke my toe. So I am in definite need of some cheering up, and that’s what this week’s edition of Best Lady Tweets is all about! I found some funny tweets from some funny women. Laugh along with me!
I wish Hillary Clinton would just make her campaign slogan “It’s about fucking time.”
— Twitnter Is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 12 2021
If you saw the jean imprints on my stomach you’d be like, “how long were you IN those things? Jesus”
— Amanda Brooke Perrin (@brookeperrin) April 14 2021
I’m the fat, white sister Beyoncé never wanted
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) April 15 2021
what’s a fun movie to watch at home when you have -$78 in your checking account?
— Clare O’Kane (@babysfirstgun) April 14 2021
I finally feel like @HillaryClinton understands my struggles now that she’s been to Chipotle & knows guacamole is extra. #Hillary2016
— Nina Bargiel (@slackmistress) April 14 2021
If this strawberry cheesecake yogurt doesnt taste exactly like a goddam cheesecake I will STRIKE DOWN VENGEANCE ON Oh wow thats real good
— nins (@ninabuttmonkey) April 13 2021
The “Dirty Dancing” lift scene, but it’s just me holding up my grilled cheese.
— JeanneMarie (@jeannerbeaner) April 15 2021
I hate when people Instagram a photo and use only the day of the week as the caption. “Monday.” The ocean will be there on Friday too.
— Ray Siegel (@RaySiegel) March 31 2021
Don’t worry, that accent is all the foreplay I need.
— Brunette Bombshell (@Jazzzzzmina) April 15 2021
u can take the girl out of the buffet but unless u check her purse/pockets for hidden jalapeño poppers, the buffet is going with the girl
— Colette McIntyre (@calledcolette) April 15 2021
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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