Let’s poke around Twitter and see what we find, shall we? And by “we”, I mean me. (Or do I mean “I”?) Anyway, here are some funny, great, totally tubular tweets from women on Twitter, to add some spark to your Friday. Got a lady you’d like to see in Best Lady Tweets? Comment below!
I'm wearing a distracting necklace because I really want to say "My eyes are up here" once in my life.
— Allison Raskin (@Allison620) March 11 2021
Bad at texting, good at living.
— Quinta B. (@quintabrunson) March 12 2021
People who tell me, “I’ll come back at a better time,” overestimate how much better things will get for me.
— Erica (@SCbchbum) March 11 2021
ugh i hate when you think you want ice cream but then you realize what you really want is to be loved
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) March 9 2021
Him: so what are your goals Me: why are some bats fanged bird monsters and others are sports game sticks
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) March 11 2021
No one mentions how the early bird is also exhausted and irritable and unraveling day by day slowly losing the will to live.
— ashley barnhill (@ashley_barnhill) March 11 2021
So apparently shouting "AGE BEFORE BEAUTY!" doesn't excuse superkicking kindergartners in the SpongeBob theater.
— Janel SantaCruz (@JanelSantaCruz) March 12 2021
We fit together like puzzle pieces in that I'm stuck here with other people and can never find you when I need you.
— (maura) (@behindyourback) March 12 2021
The freebie-jeebies That feeling you get when someone creepy buys you a drink without asking.
— Erren Michaels (@ErrenMichaels) March 12 2021
If you can't handle my Grace Jones you don't deserve my Grace Kelly.
— Bea Hindwhistle (@Hormonella) March 9 2021
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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