Sarah Innis loves reading, watching horror movies, cooking + eating vegan and sitting on her couch pondering the big issues (Taylor Swift and feminism mostly). She sometimes breastfeeds rubber dolls. She's contributed to xojane and hellogiggles and tweets at @sarahinnis. You can also follow her blog-lite at https://witchfox.tumblr.com/
Frankly I couldn’t care less about Valentine’s Day. Not because I’m one of those obnoxious ‘every-day-is-Valentine’s-in-my-special-relationship’-types; it’s simply that I don’t like the idea of being manipulated by marketers using a made up holiday to sell me crap. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as romantic as anyone!
Ask any of my exes. They’ll tell you. Better yet, let me tell you. Valentine’s Days etched into memory have included….
-recently breaking up with someone;
-having just met someone I thought was promising shortly before Valentine’s–I got so freaked out when they called me on the day that I jinxed the whole thing (probably ranked as a great day for him too);
-having been dating someone for a short-ish while, I thought delusionally that VDay might finally be something special. We had an argument, made up, and he came over with a bouquet of flowers which was memorable to me only for NOT being a dozen long stemmed red roses. I have no idea what they were, except that it registered loud and clear what they were NOT—namely, the only acceptable flowers to give on Valentine’s. Anything else, just forget it. Please. (and…..resume argument)
Now that I think about it, you really have to either be solidly single or solidly with someone for the day to make any sense. At the start of a relationship, VDay can really eff things up. If you ignore it completely, the relationship should probably get scrapped; if you go out it’s too much pressure; if only one of you mounts a VDay response—one person awkwardly hands over a token of affection? One person feels like a moron; one like a heartless monster? Good times.
Over the years I’ve come to realize that my relationship exit style isn’t entirely the norm. My philosophy has always been to leave the way I arrived: alone. It sounds cold but the fact remains: I don’t want to stay friends with an ex. I’m not sure what it even means to forge a friendship from the lifeless, mangled mess that I’m trying to escape. The last time it was suggested, my only response was, “What would that look like?” I don’t want to know.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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