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Mishka Shubaly is the author of three bestselling Kindle Singles on Amazon: The Long Run, Shipwrecked and Are You Lonesome Tonight? He plays bass in Freshkills and is currently working on his next solo record. Stalk him on Twitter: @MishkaShubaly
Mishka Shubaly is the bestselling author of the Kindle Singles, Shipwrecked, Are You Lonesome Tonight, The Long Run and the new Bachelor Number One, which is excerpted below. For like not much money at all, you can buy his writing here, which you should do, because it is great.
I ran out to grab a Diet Mountain Dew — judge me, go on, judge me — and when I walked back into my room, I caught a faint whiff of something, a scent that may have been disturbed by my excavations. It wasn’t as rank as the Unabomber’s shack nor as fetid as the sagging couch facing the PlayStation in some defeated suburban basement-dweller’s grotto nor as acidic as the lived-in storage unit of some divorcé in freefall but it was there: the bitter, defeated tang of curdled manhood, a bachelor gone to seed. I was beginning to spoil.
The Internet complements modern loneliness so well that, at times, it appears to be solely a digital projection of that yearning. You check the spam folder in your Gmail account to make sure no personal message got hung up there, you scan the Craig’s List Missed Connections ‘just for the entertainment value,’ you Facebook-stalk your crushes/ your ex/ your ex’s friends/ your friends’ exes/ your ex-friends exes’ crushes. You watch some porn and then you turn off your computer in disgust and watch Good Will Hunting or Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind or even, Jesus H. Christ, Dr. Zhivago and then fall asleep hating yourself.
But when that dream of love is set free in the potent imaginarium of the Internet, we become not who we are but who we wish to be, and the objects of our desire become so overburdened with perfection as to be inhuman. When fantasy trumps reality, well, the results can be disastrous. Enter a sweet young thing named Johna Chase.