Megan S. is an associate editor at Dating & Hookup. She's a big fan of pop culture, comedy and essay collections (but just a regular fan of any sport that isn't softball or golf).
If you’ve watched HGTV’s “House Hunters” in the past year or two, you might have heard the expression, “Happy wife, happy life” coming from the mouth of some guy who wants a swimming pool in their new backyard but who will let go of this dream to ensure his wife’s happiness.
Or maybe you regularly watch one of the dozens of wedding shows on cable now; surely you’ve heard at least one fiancé or newlywed utter that same phrase: “happy wife, happy life.” He might have said it as his bride-to-be stared him down, demanding with just the slightest pout-of-a-bottom-lip that he bankroll the $10,000 gown that she and her mother picked out at Kleinfeld.
I couldn’t marry any guy who said this. Not even if he uttered it jokingly.
I’m nobody’s wife, so maybe that’s why I don’t fully appreciate this cutesy rhyme. Maybe I’m an idiot for arguing against the idea of “happy wife, happy life.” I really don’t know. What I do know is that whenever I hear that expression, I feel bad for both the guy AND the girl in that relationship.
The past three months have been dedicated to completing my thesis, one of the last things I have to do to earn my MFA degree. The experience has been maddening, exhilarating, confusing, gratifying and about a hundred other emotions. And while “love” isn’t the cohesive theme holding my project together, I can definitely see how writing a thesis is a lot like finding a good relationship.
First drafts are like first dates—unpredictable. Some first drafts are great. You’ve finally got all of your ideas on paper and you can tell that there’s potential to create an even better second draft, third, fourth, etc. until everything is smooth sailing. A good first date is a lot like that—if it goes well, you’re likely to go out again, and again, until dating turns into a committed relationship.
Speaking on behalf of women everywhere, I thought you should know that we ladies—regardless of age, ethnicity, economic status, whatever—are fans of your work. And by “work,” we of course mean your ability to play guitar. We’re fans despite never having heard you play before. Even if you’ve never strummed a chord in our presence, the very fact that you have a guitar (heck, maybe even just a guitar case) is enough to pique our collective interest.
Whether you play electric or acoustic, are self-taught or trained with a rock god, are in a band or just play for fun, NONE OF THIS MATTERS. Not much, anyway. Upon first meeting you, these are all minor details that can be discussed later. Believe us—we’ll ask plenty of questions about your craft in a minute. For now, you are guitar-playing citizens, and that is enough.
There’s an episode from Season 6 of “The Office” where the Dunder Mifflin employees go out for happy hour. Pam invites one of her single girlfriends to see if she and Pam’s boss, Michael Scott, might hit it off. Michael is charming and funny while interacting with this girl; the conversation is easy, the laughter genuine, the friendly interest mutual. Basically, it’s a perfect example of a great non-date—until Michael discovers that Pam invited her friend specifically for him to meet.
Suddenly, the truly likeable Michael Scott disappears, and we meet his alter ego, Date Mike—a guy who tries too hard, wears his Kangol hat backwards, and “playfully” insults his date (a strategy better known as “negging” to those of you who watched “The Pickup Artist,” VH1’s dating reality show from 2007). Ultimately, Date Mike is an embarrassment, and his new flirting strategies don’t go over well with Pam’s friend.
I don’t know how many of you know this, but UK-based boy band One Direction is scheduled to release their sophomore album, “Take Me Home,” on November 13. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t just listened to the free preview. Guys, the songs are poppy, catchy, and downright fun. iTunes describes the album as “a jubilant celebration of youth and good times,” and who’s going to reject an album with that kind of review?
Maybe new music from One Direction isn’t newsworthy to most ladies in their mid-twenties, but I have a soft place in my heart for the musical stylings of boy bands. Other than the crush I had on Jonathan Taylor Thomas in third grade, boy bands were kinda my first love.
Who needs a boyfriend or emotional intimacy when I am my very own Ron Swanson, right…?
I don’t mean to brag, but I’m analytical and always over-prepared.
Not in an annoying way—well okay, sometimes in an annoying way. Except, while my analysis skills come in handy when discussing the success/failure rates of celebrity couples (though, I’ll admit: I did not anticipate the Poehler-Arnett break-up), they can also cause some serious over-thinking.
If I’m bored, I’ll sometimes strategize Ocean’s Eleven-style escape routes from whatever building I’m in. And if I had to give an impromptu speech, I’d probably still find time to make a PowerPoint presentation. Once, a friend gave me a book entitled The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Life, so I think other people have noticed my special tendencies.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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