Megan S. is an associate editor at Dating & Hookup. She's a big fan of pop culture, comedy and essay collections (but just a regular fan of any sport that isn't softball or golf).
(500) Days of Summer is one of my favorite movies (minus the very last line of the film; if you’ve seen it, you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about) and a big reason for this love is because of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character, Tom. The dude is awesome, so yeah, I agree with the people over at Thought Catalog who named him one of The 10 Best Fictional Boyfriends.
With Mother’s Day coming up on Sunday, I’d like to say that my mom is pretty great.
She’s awesome for a lot of reasons. First of all, she carried me for nine months inside of her own body, which was super-generous of her (and also completely necessary, yes, but I still feel like she deserves credit). She taught me about baseball and is the reason I’m a huge Cleveland Indians fan. My mom has moved her first four kids in and out of college thirty-two times—and none of our dorm rooms were ever on the first floor of the building. She encourages me when I have a hard time believing in myself, and she’s the most dependable early-morning workout partner I’ve ever had.
As both a Millennial and the only single girl in my group of friends, I was interested in this article over at The Atlantic in which author Hugo Schwyzer discusses the importance of cross-sex friendships, even if one person in the friendship is married. Take a look and discuss.
“I wanted someone to love me but I certainly didn’t need it. I didn’t want to be alone, but as long as I was, I had no choice but to wear my solitude as though it were haute couture. The worst sin imaginable was not cruelty or bitchiness or even professional failure but vulnerability.” –Meghan Daum, “On the Fringes of the Physical World”
This quote is from Daum’s 2001 essay collection My Misspent Youth (which I highly recommend, but that’s neither here nor there). In the essay, Daum discusses the initial all-consuming elation of beginning her first online relationship followed by the surprising disappointment she experiences after meeting the object of her email-fueled affections in person.
Although the essay was published twelve years ago, it feels as though she could’ve written it last week. Many of the sentiments expressed by Daum remain relevant as we Millennials navigate the evolving rules of dating and falling in love in 2013.
“I wanted someone to love me but I certainly didn’t need it.” Many people want to fall in love, but I guess we don’t really need it. Or we can at least convince ourselves that we don’t need it. We’re well-trained in thinking we’re too busy for that kind of thing. We think our relationships with friends and family can provide all of the love we need. Romantic love is often regarded as an afterthought, probably because we’re so unsure of how to find and/or let this kind of relationship into our lives. But even if we’re all busy, unsure or insecure, there’s still no denying that want.
Meeting your significant other’s family can seem like no big deal…until you actually have to do it. Then it’s like you forget what it means to be a normal, polite person who regularly interacts with other humans. You might begin to question the best way to act around various family members, or fret over what you should/shouldn’t discuss at dinner.
A couple of months ago, I went shopping with two of my sisters with the sole purpose of finding a prom dress for my youngest sister. We visited four or five stores and scoured racks upon racks of gowns, hoping to find the perfect dress for the biggest party of her senior year.
Although this isn’t her first prom—it’s actually her third go-around—she’s still super-excited. And she should be, because prom is a pretty big deal. In fact, for a lot of people, prom is one of the fanciest nights of their lives (other than their potential future wedding, of course).
The planning begins weeks, maybe months in advance. Ladies schedule appointments for hair, manicures and tanning. They wear gowns, sometimes dropping hundreds of dollars for a dress many of them know they’ll only wear once. The dudes rent tuxedos. Boutonnieres and corsages are exchanged! Limos are rented! (Well, not at my rural, middle-of-nowhere school. Some kids might’ve borrowed a grandparent’s Lincoln or Cadillac, but most of us arrived in washed-and-waxed pickup trucks and mid-sized Fords or Chevys.)
You have a crush before he even knows your name. Where did you first see him, again? Could’ve been anywhere. Doesn’t matter. You thought he was cute. At that point, you knew the crush was purely superficial. You weren’t that invested. Your life could carry on as usual.
Then, days—maybe weeks?—later, you see him again, see that your paths are literally going to cross, and think, “Well, why the hell not?” and fueled by your sudden surge of confidence, you introduce yourself (or joke about the weather, or compliment his shirt—who knows, but you say something). And he shakes your hand. You realize you’ve never been this close to him before. You prepare to part ways—
And then he smiles.
And you are a goner.
“Tinder has lured people in by unabashedly offering a place to do all the things we love doing online, but won’t admit to: act shallow, make snap-judgments based on looks, obsess over what people think of us and boost our egos. It’s turned passing judgment into a pastime, and people are thrilled to take part.”
I hadn’t heard about Tinder before reading this article at HuffPost Women, but now I’m a little sad that I can’t un-know about it.
People often insist that love happens when you least expect it. They tell you to fill your life with activities, and chase your dreams, and you’ll be so fixated on everything else that love will just find you.
I know people mean well when they rattle off that old cliché, but come on. Love happens when you least expect it? Really? So how are you supposed to shut down that part of your brain? If love is something you really, truly want in your life, how are you supposed to just NOT think about it while waiting for the moment when you least expect it? Is the universe purposely withholding love from single people who are hyper-aware of everything all the time? (Also, is the universe allowed to toy with us in such a way? Rude.)
I don’t get caught-up in that line of thinking very often (because I actually am busy with other stuff), but whenever my mind wanders to that territory, I get a little frustrated because I honestly don’t know how to “least expect it.” And then I read May Cause Miracles: A 40-Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness by Gabrielle Bernstein, and now I have a better understanding.
Much of the book is about creating ways to allow for positive change in our lives. Bernstein writes that fear controls many of our thoughts and actions, and we can only create positive change by releasing our fear and moving forward in love. So how do you release this fear? By focusing on gratitude. When you’re grateful—truly, legitimately, 100% grateful—for what is already in your life, positive change occurs naturally.
Sometimes, dating isn’t as confusing as many people make it out to be. Need proof? Over at HowAboutWe, they’re letting the cats explain everything.
With Major League Baseball season starting on April 1st, I’m stoked to get to the ballpark. But although I have a longstanding love of baseball, I know not everybody does. As the weather warms up and the games get underway, though, I’d like to encourage people to consider attending a baseball game—minor league, major league, doesn’t matter—as a date and/or non-date activity. And I absolutely have some reasons to convince you:
Outdoor activities! Sunshine and fresh air!
This has been a loooonnngg winter for most of the Midwest and East Coast. Sometimes the only thing that kept me from losing my mind during one of several snowstorms was the memory of sitting outside at my favorite ballpark on a warm spring day. People are going to be looking for any reason to get outside this spring. I suggest making baseball your reason.
Two people? A full-blown group? Either way, you’re set to socialize.
When you purchase your ticket for the game, you automatically get a hard, plastic seat (or space on a bleacher) where you can watch the action and enjoy the ambiance of the stadium. If it’s you and one other person in attendance, sitting side-by-side is fine for making conversation, but maybe you’d rather go with a group. No problem. Most ballparks have a ton of other places where you can socialize while still watching the game: restaurants within the stadium, patios, green spaces, etc.
Good golly, I wish I had said this first. But I didn’t. Some genius person who truly understands what it feels like to fall in love did.
Love is one of the easiest emotions to feel, yet is possibly the most difficult to describe—probably because it’s different for everyone.
dahGRAMS
Follow Dating & Hookup on Instagram
Follow Jess on Instagram
Follow Becky on Instagram
