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Megan S. is an associate editor at Dating & Hookup. She's a big fan of pop culture, comedy and essay collections (but just a regular fan of any sport that isn't softball or golf).
You know how people say to dance as if nobody’s watching when they’re trying to inspire you to include some amount of whimsy into your life? And at first you’re like, “No, absolutely not,” but then you reconsider, and suddenly you’re all, “Yeah. YEAH! Dance like nobody’s watching! I’ll dance whenever I want, in whatever way I want, regardless of people staring or taking pictures or laughing at me and not with me.” After all, life is about being yourself and feeling good about that, right?
I agree that life is about being yourself, but I feel best about myself when I’m not dancing in public. I am just so wildly embarrassed by dancing in front of anybody or with anybody. I’ve got like, two moves, and even then I feel like a tool while implementing them. Luckily (is it sad that I say ‘luckily’?), I don’t find myself in too many situations where dancing/public awkwardness is required, but then there are weddings.
There was a pretty big crowd at my friend’s wedding reception a few weeks ago. The music was blasting through the hall and the dance floor was hoppin’ (yep, I talk like I’m Richie Cunningham from Happy Days on a regular basis), but I wasn’t one of the partygoers out there busting moves. I was happy sitting at the table talking with other wedding guests.
The groom—a friend I’ve known since I was five—wasn’t likin’ it. He pulled me from the safety of my chair and led me to the floor where his parents and their friends were dancing to some Cee Lo Green song. He wanted me to have fun, so I tried to feel comfortable. I swayed a little bit, made small talk, wanted so badly to look as though I was having a good time when all I could think about was how silly I felt.
“Online I was chatty, engaging, mysterious, coy, flirty… In person I am awkward and shy with bouts of mania. I am self-conscious and quiet and come across as aloof and apathetic… In person I loved him instantly but in person I lost my courage and made him feel undesirable.
Why was it so much easier to be great with a screen between our faces?”
Find yourself relating to any part of that quote? Then you should read Kaitlyn Wylde’s essay “A 2013 Love Story” over at Medium.
…But does Lizzy believe this?
There are very few situations when I’m able to graciously accept a compliment. Like if someone said I organized something nicely, I’d believe it and say, “Thank you!” Other instances are limited to when someone praises my:
- spelling abilities
- extensive knowledge of boy bands, both past and present
- neat handwriting
- expert quesadilla-making skills
- ability to quote at least half of the dialogue from Father of the Bride and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
This is because I’m confident in these areas. I trust that I can name all the members of NSYNC or One Direction, and I pride myself on the tidy to-do lists written in my daily planner. But if someone says, “Hey Meg, you did a great job with that presentation,” my immediate reaction is self-conscious babble: “No, you don’t mean that. I was hunched up and twitchy the entire time, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t look anybody in the eye, and I definitely said ‘ummm’ too often, and are you sure we were even at the same presentation because I don’t think it was as good as you seem to be implying.”
I don’t know about you guys, but I’ll listen to any advice Amy Poehler offers. So when she says we should celebrate being in love and allow ourselves to be vulnerable–even if love seems a little intimidating at first–well, I’m at least going to take her suggestions into consideration.
Is everyone in your social circle coupled-up except for you? Not a big deal, because over at POPSUGAR, they’ve got a few tips on what to do when you’re the only single friend left.
Unfriend your ex on Facebook. Unfollow them on Twitter. Ignore anything they post on Instagram, lose their Tumblr URL, and don’t add them to your circles if you’ve somehow managed to figure out Google+. We’ve heard this advice before: If you’ve broken up with someone in real life, then your best chances for moving on mean breaking up on social media, too.
It’s not bad advice. But if you and your ex have gone on to lead happy, fulfilling, balanced lives, is it okay to welcome them back to your social network sometime down the road? This article over at HowAboutWe will help you decide if and/or when it’s okay to re-follow your ex on social media.
Weddings are synonymous with competition, right?
Over the past few months I have watched many, many episodes of Four Weddings on TLC. I don’t have a good reason for watching this show other than the fact that I like seeing the different interpretations of what makes a perfect wedding day. And friends, I’ve learned that there are several ways to make that day “unique” and “special.” (You might be surprised to know that getting married in a castle is NOT one of those ways. Apparently castles are everywhere on the East Coast. Who knew?)
Despite the understandable desire to have a totally one-of-a-kind wedding, my dedicated research has shown there are plenty of areas for generalization, so I’ve made this list of guidelines to keep in mind should you ever be a contestant on a wedding-themed, competition-style reality show.
Long-distance relationships can certainly take a toll on your emotions, but they can almost do more damage to your finances if you’re not careful. But it doesn’t have to be that way. This article at The Jane Dough offers practical advice on maintaining a long-distance relationship without blowing up your budget. Because even though you’d walk 500 miles (or maybe even 1,000) to see your love, it would be nice to save some money along the way, right?
Try to not walk away from potential new friends…
Finding the courage to chat with an attractive stranger isn’t always easy, particularly for the wallflowers among us. Luckily, a few people have figured out a way to make these conversations less nerve-wracking. Check out this article at HuffPost Women to learn how to approach anybody with total confidence.
I’ve been reading thesis projects for the past few weeks, preparing for two weeks of creative writing workshops in August. I’m going to be working with people I’ve known for over two years, and that might not seem like a long time to know someone, but I’ve learned a lot about my classmates in this short span of time. Considering the kind of material that makes its way into a thesis, it’s kind of impossible not to.
When reading someone’s memoir or personal essays, you’re bound to come across some pretty heavy and/or sensitive information, the kind of stuff you couldn’t know about someone just by looking at them. And honestly, reading their projects is challenging. The writer in you is critiquing sentence structure, section breaks, the balance of scene/summary/analysis, et cetera, but the human in you—the friend in you—is thinking, “Whoa. I had no idea you’ve been through so much.”
While I consider myself lucky to know so many creative and talented writers on such a personal level, it’s made me realize how few people I know that much about outside of my master’s program. Other than my family or childhood friends, I don’t know a considerable amount about anybody else. I don’t think many of us do, actually.
Not sure if we’d use “saudade” or “la douleur exquise” in this situation…
You’re in a new relationship, and things are going well. Amazingly well. In fact, everything seems better than amazing. It’s like you’ve discovered a whole new level of energy and emotion, and you want to tell everybody how you feel.
But what do you say? What word do you use to accurately and fully convey your EXACT feelings? Does such a word even exist?
Actually, yes: Forelsket. But it’s Norwegian, so that might be why you weren’t aware of it. A post at Psychology Today defines this and nine other relationship terms that aren’t translatable into English to help you find new ways to express your love. Check it out and add some new terms to your vocabulary.
My life has been a series of misunderstandings about how old I am. I’m often asked what my major will be when I go to college. On my first day as a substitute teacher, I heard several eighth-graders whisper, “That’s the sub? I thought she was a new student…” And due to my petite frame and serious case of what can most accurately be described as “anti-cleavage,” I’m sure I have a few more years of being referred to as “young lady” by both middle-aged and elderly strangers.
The real kicker, though, is that instead of being approached by guys my age, I’ve gotten double takes from teenagers. It’s frustrating—not to mention completely embarrassing. I suppose in one sense it’s a good thing that twenty- and thirty-year olds aren’t constantly hitting on me, because it demonstrates that they know it’s not okay to approach teenage girls. But because I’m not actually a teenager and just look like one, it’s maddening.
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