Megan S. is an associate editor at Dating & Hookup. She's a big fan of pop culture, comedy and essay collections (but just a regular fan of any sport that isn't softball or golf).
I recently posted about dating burnout, which I’m sure is a real thing for those of you who are going on dates, managing social calendars and checking OkCupid profiles. But I haven’t been doing any of those things lately, which I’m pretty sure has led me to a different kind of burnout.
Basically I’m tired of having a positive attitude about my love life. (Fair warning: It’s about to get real melodramatic up in here.)
Whether you’re already married or hope to one day walk down the aisle, chances are good that you’ve thought about whether or not to change your last name. There are a lot of things to consider in this decision — including how a name change will affect your digital identity. Check out this article at The Atlantic to learn about maintaining (or changing) your online presence as a newlywed. (And read Becky’s take on the matter here!)
As much as we’d like for dating to be effortless, sometimes it feels like nothing but hours and hours of hard work: scheduling formal dates, making time for casual get-togethers, choosing outfits, coming up with witty banter, sending the perfect text, etc. But is it really necessary to be ‘on’ all the time? Wouldn’t a break be nice? If you need a brief vacation from checking your online dating profile, check out this article on dealing with dating burn-out from HowAboutWe.
People might not remember their first real-person crush, but most people remember their first celebrity crush. For me, it was Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I was in love with JTT in second grade, ‘in love’ meaning I thought he was cute. What else does an eight-year-old base her opinion on at that age? It’s not like I could get to know him, and at eight, who even knows what it really means to like someone?
Anyway, JTT. My main dude. I begged my mom to buy me an issue of some random teen magazine with him on the cover. It was one of those Tiger Beat or BOP! or Teen Bop or Beep-Bop-Boop magazines that always has the latest big-name celebrity splashed across its cover, pulling in all the young fans with promises of revealing what pop bands do in their downtime or a young TV star’s favorite movie—you know, all the vital information. The star of the moment was JTT, and how could he not be? He was starring on the hit sitcom Home Improvement and was the voice of young Simba in The Lion King. The guy was going places.
Sometimes we all need to take a break and ask ourselves how we’re doing, and I don’t mean a quick assessment. I’m talking about an extended moment of reflection wherein we consider how we’re really progressing in all areas of life. That might seem overwhelming, because where do you even begin? Over at HuffPost Women they’ve compiled a list of 23 things every woman should stop doing; that seems like a pretty good place to start.
I read an article on Psychology Today‘s website that said women are more likely to buy lipstick in times of economic recession because they want to “attract mates ‘with resources.’” This annoyed me, but not because the results of the study implied that a woman’s thoughts are as simple as, “I need pretty lips in order to snag a man!” Women are obviously more complex than that; even with scientific research and results, we all know there are many other motivators at work in a person’s search for love. No, the bigger thing that bothered me is that although I’d like to meet a nice guy, I don’t want to bother with lipstick. Makeup is already difficult enough as it is.
Admittedly, I’m a bit jealous that dudes haven’t had to figure out the makeup game. Their low-maintenance look can be as quick as shaving their face and swiping on Chapstick (and clearly I’m referring to normal, everyday guys, as male celebrities are an entirely different story). A lady’s low-maintenance, no-makeup look usually involves at least four products. I think I’m actually aiming low with that four products guess, but again, I’ve never been great at the art of makeup.
It is well-known among my family and friends that I value my personal space. I wouldn’t say I’m an unaffectionate person, but it does take a while for me to be comfortable enough around someone before openly handing out hugs. You can imagine my discomfort-verging-on-horror, then, when I read this post over at The Gloss about two dudes who kissed or carried total strangers for some kind of…research, I guess? Social experiment or not, I would’ve reacted much more negatively than many of the ladies in the videos.
“When you’re in love, everything seems like a sign.” –Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
You hear some people say, “I knew within the first couple of weeks that I would marry this person.” And then I’m like, “How? How did you know that? What indicated to you that this was the right person?” But I guess it’s just something you feel, right? Because you don’t actually know until you know. You just…don’t.
And I hate that. I like answers and absolutes. And because I’m this way, whenever I really like someone, I look for ways to convince myself that THIS is the one that turns into a relationship. THIS is the one that was meant to be.
Now, honestly, I am embarrassed to admit to this behavior. I hate the battle between Logical Meg and Lovesick Meg. Logically, I know relationships happen when both parties share a mutual interest and attraction. Pretty simple. But the side of me that crushes hard wants so badly for there to be some kind of sign that I’ve met the amazing person who will make every other guy I’ve ever known pale in comparison. I’m pretty sure most people have done this at some point. If you’ve ever really liked someone, you’ve probably spent at least a few minutes looking for signs, symbols, some sort of indication that you were destined to meet this specific person.
Every couple probably has their own definition of “happy,” but over at Psychology Today they’ve assembled a list of 10 habits of happy couples. Take a look and see if you agree or disagree.
The ladder to success shouldn’t have to be lonely.
One of the best parts of being in a relationship is always having someone to share in and celebrate your achievements, right? Well, a new study shows that guys feel more insecure than proud when their female partners experienced success, which leads me to ask: Um, what?
Hopefully fashion sense is one of the first things to change.
I have no idea how people under the age of 20 date with any amount of confidence. My assumption is that they’re blinded by untested optimism. That seems like the only suitable answer because, looking back, I realize how little I knew about myself as a teenager.
I’m Type-A personality with a few extra dashes of anxiety thrown in, but in my youth I just considered myself to be highly motivated and vigilant. This is partly because I didn’t realize other people didn’t worry about things the way I did. I thought everybody agonized over whether they’d included enough details in their page-long response to the question, “Describe the pathway of frog’s digestive system” in biology class. I thought it was natural to be concerned about making curfew before my date even picked me up for the evening. I didn’t recognize that my need for order and control verged on excessive.
Of course, I thought I understood who I was in high school; all teenagers do. Every teen is sure they know who they are and what they like and what they’ll always like. They hear people talk about change—circumstances change, people change, preferences change—and they understand that change is a possibility for some things but certainly not for all things. Significant, life-altering change happens to other people because they’re not prepared; those fools don’t see it coming. Teenagers think that acknowledging the existence and possibility of change is a safeguard against ever being caught off-guard.
Truth: I don’t have a smartphone, so I’m not well-versed in the use of emoji in text messages. It seems to me that those little illustrations might help you get your point across more clearly — but what if that isn’t the case? What if your choice of emoji sends the wrong signals to your potential love interest? If you’re looking for some guidance, you might want to consult this helpful how-to guide from HowAboutWe on how to use emojis in your dating life.
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