I am also attempting to find out exactly what the fuck is up with my love life.
I wrote this on July 8th of last year. And now it’s time to do a follow-up.
At that time, I was at a crossroads in my life. I had just broken up with my long-term girlfriend, and I was trying to figure out what I wanted next. As the post indicates, I was a confused man, aimless, directionless, and searching for purpose. Through the magic of social media, my soul was bared – laid out for any wayward double-clicker to gaze upon. Strangers could freely psychoanalyze my innermost thoughts, insecurities, and judge.
So, what reaction did this digital slice of honesty conjure from the closest of my friends?
“OMG, did you cut your hair?”
Perhaps they got around to reading what I’d written eventually, but nobody seemed to get past the photoshop that I ran next to the article. Depicted was me, angel on one shoulder and devil on the other. It was only supposed to be visual accompaniment to the textual emotional outpouring. Because the picture represented two possible paths a newly single man may consider – crudely and inaccurately represented as good and bad. I included it with the hope of enhancing the overall themes of the piece, but instead, may have confused people with a wildly unusual hairdo. But at least one person read the words, and I’ll come back to that in a bit.
(FYI: It was up in a clip, folks. I didn’t cut it. It’s long as ever and when I do decide to chop it off, I’ll again donate it to Locks of Love)
Anyway, the conversation about the hair came back to me when I revisited my post and saw the picture. I wanted to take a look back at what I’d written before embarking on the follow-up post to accurately gauge my progress and growth – in other words, to see if I achieved whatever the hell I was looking for last summer.
Are you there girls? It’s me, Matthew.
That’s a question and a consequent introductory statement that I haven’t had to make for the better part of nearly four years. I was in a seemingly fruitful, committed relationship, and I happily played the role of boyfriend. That all changed a few weeks back, as I saw this love affair come to a screeching halt and parted ways with the girl I suppose I guess I assumed I’d eventually marry.
Now, the breakup itself was mutual and amicable. Both parties still care fondly for one another as people, and there was no foul play that would prompt an emotional outpouring of hatred from one side. Nothing like that at all went on. Everything was OK, and that was the issue. It can’t just be OK.
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