Lisa Alden is a writer who spent five years working on "entourage", one season on the NBC Show "Lipstick Jungle", and has since developed pilots for MTV, Fox and HBO. She currently teaches a class in television pilot writing at UCLA and created a screenwriting contest for the San Diego Film Festival. She is still single, but grateful for the bottomless pit of material that dating never fails to provide.
Dear OKCupid – I’m sure by now you’ve heard that I shut down my profile. That is not how I wanted things to end between us, but break-ups are never easy.
Just so you know, it’s me, not you. I think of online dating like an invitation to my cousin’s wedding. There’s no way to get out of it, and I’m always too tired to hang around for the cake.
But what we had, those four months we spent together – it wasn’t all bad. I can honestly say that I could get a job as an ambulance driver or local television reporter because I have been on a date in just about every neighborhood in Los Angeles. I can get to DTLA, Venice, or Glasell Park without my navigation. Before we met, I thought going east of La Brea or West of Robertson was worth Instagram-ing. I got free legal advice from a date with a real estate attorney, the address of a hidden, no-name sushi restaurant in Glendale, and a crash course on fantasy football. And that Helmut Lang dress I wore on every date (because there were never any second dates) was completely justified by its less than the cost of an Urth Latte, per-wear-amortization.
I hope we can still be friends. And I hope you can forgive me for calling you “Ok Stupid” on Facebook, as it should have stayed a pet name between us. Who knows, maybe with a little time and lapse of memory, we’ll even hook up again. I have to admit I already miss feeling like I was back in high school every time I got an email from you letting me know, “He’s interested in you!”
I hope this list gives you some kind of closure for our brief but memorable affair. It did for me.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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