Jess is the co-creator of Dating & Hookup, alongside her childhood best friend Becky Lynch, and is the author of the book - yep! - Dating & Hookup. She never tires of hearing your post-dating stories. She wants you to enjoy your love life, and is full of advice on how to do so.
How do you send a clear message to your potential paramour in the post-dating world? Shoot him a text? Start a BBM convo? Have your friend tweet his friend?
Now there’s a new option! And it’s a lot more direct than you might expect.Here’s a way to get yourdecidedly modern point across in a classic, old-school way – send a greeting card! (thanks to Alison for finding these <3)
Drawn in by the lure of cover star Robert Pattinson’s eyes (despite being more of a Team Jacob kind of girl – yeah, I said it!), I opened the 10th Anniversary March issue of Details today and came upon a cultural trend piece about “The Remasculated Man.” Lauding Conan O’Brien’s recent middle-finger-in-the-air attitude towards NBC as the new symbol of masculinity, the article claims:
“After years of dutiful, dues-paying obsequiousness, men seem to be coming to the realization that surviving (and even enjoying) the wide-open Wild West gestalt of 2010 demands a different response than testicular retraction. In other words, we’re witnessing the remasculation of the American man.”
The media really loves to hate on love, doesn’t it?
On this last day of winter, the forecast for love in the media is looking pretty bleak. Sandra Bullock’s husband cheated on her! Lady Gaga is being sued by her ex-boyfriend! One of Tiger Woods’s porn stars is releasing his dirty sexts online! Kate Winslet is getting divorced! There’s an Oscar Love Curse!
It’s like my grandparents always say when they watch the nightly local news – why don’t they show any of the good stuff?!
Thinking of posting a photo of yourself on HotOrNot.com? How passé and self-centered of you! Check out the latest interactive site for rating and judging others’ attractiveness – CanDoBetter.com.
WARNING: It’s totally addictive, in a slightly evil way.
Who doesn’t love picture books?
Thanks to a heads up from the fabulous L is for Foxy, I came across an amazing archaeological find – scanned pages from a dating guide that was published in 1938. Written for single women (I hope that doesn’t surprise you! Men don’t need advice on this sort of thing, remember?), the guide features illustrated pearls of wisdom such as:
Haven’t we come up with enough ways to make cheating easy? Gone are the days when a wife would pick up the house phone, listen to the heavy silence on the other end, and scream at her husband, “THAT WAS HER, WASN’T IT?!?!” Now cheaters can use cell phones, multiple email addresses, Gchat, AIM, and covert Facebook and Twitter messages and status updates to communicate with their jump offs. Is there really a need for us to be held even LESS accountable for our romantic and sexual indiscretions?
Apparently, yes. Those damn cheaters are never satisfied.
Some guy just asked me to Bump him.
Actually, I’m surprised that it hasn’t happened before. Bump is one of the most popular iPhone apps out there, the very third app that I downloaded (sorry, can’t live without Google and Facebook). For the uninitiated, Bump allows you to transfer all your contact info to another person’s iPhone by simply Bumping your iPhones together. It takes about five seconds, and something about the Bumping action provides a cheap little thrill, like you’re suddenly eight-year-olds fencing with fake plastic swords on your front lawn again.
When this guy (a purely professional, and not romantic, prospect) asked me to Bump him, it made me wonder why this hasn’t yet become a bigger part of the pickup scene. At least in New York City, where iPhones seem to outnumber bagel shops. Why aren’t people Bumping all over bars, clubs and parties? Will Bumping ever become one more nuance of technology that plays a significant role in our romantic interactions? Do we even want it to?
Let’s weigh the pros and cons of Bump-fueled hookups.
If only I’d read this Jezebel piece (which shouts out our site, for better or worse) before going on that non-date last night, I’d have known exactly what to do.
According to blogger Jenna Sauers, when it comes to romance, the setting and circumstances are arbitrary. The only important piece of information is whether you two like each other. She writes:
“If you don’t [like each other], then I think you know what to do. (Turn the experience into a laceratingly self-deprecating exaggerated tale of woe for your friends and mine it for laughs, duh.) If you did, great! Then do whatever it was that you enjoyed with that person again, maybe a bunch of times; stop and move on when it’s not so good anymore.”
So…is it REALLY this easy? Is Sauers the straightforward, easygoing woman of the future, while Becky and I are the blogging equivalents of Gigi, the over-analytical and overly-traditional girl from the “He’s Just Not That Into You” movie? Are we making mountains out of molehills?
I say no.
Apparently, people care about The Bachelor again. And apparently, I suddenly care about The Bachelor. I’d never seen an episode of the schmaltzy show before this season, but somehow the lure of red roses, romantic waterfalls and teary confessions of love were just too much for this post-dating chick to resist. All the shirtless shots of Jake the Pilot weren’t so bad, either.
So now that I’ve already forfeited your respect, I’d like to share the following impassioned conversation that occurred over my Facebook wall after tonight’s finale. In between all the Bachelorisms, you’ll discover a fascinating psychological theory on how to find true love. Don’t say Vienna never taught you nothing!
Author and fellow navigator of the modern romantic landscape Hannah Seligson wrote an AWESOME piece in today’s Wall Street Journal. In the article, she delves into the confusing realities of the post-dating world (with some eye-opening statistics) and explains why popular books of the past and present have it all wrong for our generation. A.M.E.N.
She also quotes me and gives a shout out to this site (I told you, she’s awesome!).
UPDATE FROM JESS: The New York Times published my letter! I guess someone in their editorial office was pissed as well.
The following convo took place over Ping. (<3 shout out to Merideth for making sure we saw this NY Times article!)
Becky: Woah, have u seen this?
Thanks to a recent Huffington Post slideshow, “The 9 Douchiest Things John Mayer Has Ever Said” (only nine?), I was reminded of this Mayer quote:
“Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you’re really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I’ve got a few missing. It’s ok though, because I’ve got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feelings, of articulation…so when I meet someone who’s an 8-color type…I’m like, ‘hey girl, magenta!’ and she’s like, ‘oh, you mean purple!’ and she goes off on her purple thing, and I’m like, ‘no – I want magenta!’”
I’m not going to comment on the douche factor. Mayer’s statements speak for themselves.
However, call me crazy (or fuchsia!), but I find this quote to be a colorful little injection of romantic optimism for us modern ladies out there.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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