Jessica Tholmer is a regular contributor to various websites, including her own blog, which consists of her reflecting about the terrible dating choices she makes, and sometimes The Biebs. She has fallen in love like a million times, and hopes to hold the record for "most broken hearts" by the time she is 45. You can find out literally everything about her, because she is everywhere to you.
I hate that we even get to apply the word “segregation” to anything these days, but here I sit, in the year 2013 talking about it.
Coming out of the University of Alabama this month, there have been some pretty severe issues with what we would typically call “segregation,” but I am just going to go ahead and call it racism. Some might consider it “traditional,” but I believe that tradition is one of the most offensive aspects of life, unless we are talking about singing Christmas carols around an old piano with your grandparents or something because tradition allows us to continue practices that should have long long ago been destroyed. In this particular instance, let us talk about sorority life.
At the University of Alabama, the greek system is still almost entirely segregated. That means that there are Black sororities and white sororities, and I am sure there are sororities with women of other ethnicities, as well. “Why still segregated?” a normal person might wonder. Melanie Gotz, a girl with a clear head on her shoulders, and a heart in the right place, has literally raised her hand and asked this question of her sorority recently, though the answers are as muddled as why we have to talk about this in the first place.
So there’s this list going around the internet right now, something about the variables that influence that crazy little thing called love: How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You, or the 11 Reasons People Fall in Love. The list is based on the most common responses people gave when recalling their own love stories. I love stuff like this. I love it. I think everyone should always be talking about stuff that made them fall in love, or out of love, or anything regarding love because why? It’s a helluva lot more interesting than math or science, right? Right.
Now I’m not saying I disagree with any of these things, but I am saying that I find some of them to be a snooze-fest. So, because I am an extremely biased person, I’ma tell you the reasons I think people fall in love with one another. Here’s the list:
I had never read anything by Pia Glenn before this morning, but by the end of this piece, I felt like I had read her entire heart. I know this girl because I know myself.
I was taken at the title of the article, “I Am Dating at My Worst…” There is more to it, but that’s what got me. I am dating at my worst.
I am almost 26 years old. (My birthday is on Saturday, email me for my mailing address. I love birthday cards.) I have never felt more insecure, more insane, more emotional, more anything. I am at the height of my being. I feel unstable and unsure and pretty much all other words that start with that gross prefix.
There is a show on Lifetime called Preachers’ Daughters in which three seemingly average teenage girls are spotlighted specifically regarding their family’s relationships to sexual relations. I admittedly have not seen the show, I have just read this article about the three featured girls, but I have some things to say.
Everyone already knows that breakups are awful, unless you don’t know that because you have never had a breakup, and in that case you either A) don’t date or B) are a robot. I used to think it was the worst feeling in the world to be broken up with, and then I broke up with a boyfriend, and I thought I’d rather have it done to me. Do you guys know what I mean, or am I just a dumb martyr? Probably the latter.
Why Dating is Better Now Than Then
Men know we are feminists.
None of that “make me a sandwich” crap is ever expected, unless it is a deep, deep-rooted fantasy like Princess Leia in the gold bikini.
Women can date women.
Men can date men. Hell, in my state, we can all even marry each other! I am not naïve or optimistic enough to suggest that no one has to suppress their true sexual desires, but I am here to say that it is truly getting better all the time. You gotta admit.
My best friend and I have been talking about The West Wing a lot lately because, well, it’s The West Wing so it should always be talked about. In a funny conversation about the word “sexy” in which I called Joshua Lyman (played by the actually very sexy Bradley Whitford) the sexiest character ever on television, I began to ponder.
Who really are the sexiest characters ever to be on television?
Okay, I will rank them, but you guys should know that I am, thus far into my life, only sexually attracted to men, so these will be male characters. If I tried to talk about sexy male and female characters, I feel like the list would be all women because women are just more beautiful than men in general. Sorry dudes.
10. Uncle Jesse
Have merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrcy. Pretty sure John Stamos invented sexy, because things were only invented post-1987 because that’s when I was born and I am very self-centered. Not coincidentally, Full House premiered in 1987, hence the reason John Stamos invented sexy. He was even sexy with a mullet and literally no one else can be sexy with a mullet.
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