Emily is a late-twenty something living and working in Denver. When not wowing her neighbors with her incredible vocal range in the shower, she is an avid wine drinker and stalker of large dogs.
The holidays are often a time for reflection, and last night around a wheel of brie with my best friends, reflect we did. Brie often causes me to ponder life’s biggest questions; creamy dairy can do that.
We were watching the cherished Christmas classic, The Holiday, when the topic came up. Why as women, do we continue to play the role of Iris Simpkins (Kate Winslet’s character in the movie)?
For those of you who are obviously crazy, joyless, or perhaps haven’t watched The Holiday recently, Iris does something repeatedly that I believe many of us do. She falls for the same idiot, who she knows will inevitably hurt her and will not be half of a productive relationship in any way, time and time again.
Now, I feel Iris on this one. I have stuck my hand in this fire so many times I am pretty sure my skin has melted off. I have met, texted, dated, drank, smooched and agonized over, my fair share of men that I knew would not produce an outcome that I was hoping or wishing for. Men, who for one reason or another were completely wrong from the beginning and all, shared one main fact in common – they didn’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated, with respect and adoration.
I decided, about a year ago on an evening over Christmas break fueled by self-pity and wine, to give online dating a shot. I poured myself another glass of wine (naturally) and began to build out my eHarmony proﬁle. For anyone who hasn’t had the pleasure of dating online, ﬁlling out your proﬁle feels like it takes an eternity—I’m pretty sure it’s worse than most personality tests and Cosmo questionnaires combined.
After my proﬁle was complete, and I had gone on a few dates and a handful of repeats, I made the decision that I wasn’t really interested in online dating. The dates were shockingly bad (including a guy who chewed gum throughout an entire Mexican dinner and ﬁve solo beers), and I just wasn’t interested investing time in feeling as though I had to be searching for a man. My proﬁle stayed online, but I no longer gave it a second thought.
That is until I received an email from eHarmony. This email wasn’t the typical update that dating sites normally send with teeny pictures of your future Prince Charming. No, this email was very different. It was written to inform me that my requirements for who I wanted to be matched with were too speciﬁc.
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