Rebecca Coale - aka Becky - is a writer, musician and producer. She and childhood best friend Jessica Donalds created Dating & Hookup and founded J&R Creative Media. Becky blogs about love poetry and modern life & womanhood. She lives with her husband, Howard Coale, and their family in Manhattan and Philadelphia.
How do you keep a strong sense of self in a relationship? in the universe? Zubair Ahmed’s poem, Concession, from CITY OF RIVERS evokes this paradox.
For the full text of the poem, click through!
Loss is inevitable, and yet love is the most transcendent part of life. How to reconcile love and loss? How to live when the potential for sadness and grief is ever-present? I’m contemplating this sense of enormity right now, inspired by Shakespeare’s Sonnet 64.
For the full text of the sonnet as well as more on love and loss, click through!
I got engaged! To the love of my life! It’s that fairy tale fantasy I have doubted many times on the record could ever really be true. Yet as I move onward into marriage (have I mentioned how amazing my fiancé is?), I have been reflecting on my single days-gone-by and finding myself nostalgic. Voila, the top 5 things I miss:
1. The certainty that I am more important than anyone. I don’t believe in compromises that leave both partners in a relationship weaker, or less-than-fully-happy. I love Hanna Rosin’s idea of the ‘seesaw marriage’ in which partners take turns shouldering burdens so that they can each fulfill their own potential (she talks about it at length in her book, The End of Men). You can alternate working and going back to school. You can come up with creative ways to share the housekeeping. You get the idea. Add children to this mix and the see-sawing gets ever more complicated and multi-dimensional. I believe we all can have it all and be great parents, too. It just may take a very complex Excel spreadsheet to figure out how.
But when you’re single, you don’t have to get creative about WHO is going to pursue their passions, splurge on the designer loafers, dash off to Istanbul for the weekend, oh, and take out the dog for his walk. It’s all you, baby. For better or worse. And most of the time, having absolute discretion over your priorities and being able to adjust them at will is a goddamn blessing. Embrace your sole importance, all you single ladies.
Now you can! Vicariously. I’m in.
Click thru for showtimes and tickets for the new movie, Girls Against Boys - premiering in limited release this weekend.
What crazy sh*t would you pull to get someone to like you back? (Or text you back.) You are not alone! Sappho, a Greek poetess circa 630 BC, had some crazy going on…
1. Her mother (who had no formal education) said, “My children are going to college, even if it means I only have but one dress to put on.” Coretta Scott King graduated the valedictorian of her high school, attended Antioch College in Ohio and the New England Conservatory of Music in Boston. She received honorary degrees from Princeton, Duke and Bates, among other universities and institutions.
2. She was a tomboy.
3. She was a musician, singing, and playing trumpet and piano. She was an accomplished soprano and studied voice at the New England Conservatory of Music.
4. She removed the vow “to obey your husband” from her marriage ceremony to Dr. King.
As young women, we feel tremendous societal pressure, especially when we’re single. We are pressured to be in a relationship, to justify our life choices, to fit into a conventional mold. Inspired by Erika Funkhouser’s poem “When She Lies Down at Night,” I want to talk about how we can deal with loneliness and how we may be able to let go of social pressure.
Read the full text of the poem, and my essay on it, after the jump!
Friends, everything has gone wrong for me (so far) in 2013. And yet, I feel liberated, elated, optimistic, passionate and inspired.
Share in my joy! All you have to do this New Year (ASAP) is:
1. Get robbed. When some lame downer of a pickpocket in Times Square stole my iPhone at approximately 10pm on New Years Eve, the cops on the scene told me they were unable to file a report due to the massive crowds they were handling. Fair Enough. “File the report later. Enjoy your night,” they said. And so I did. I missed the Ball Drop because my group and I were trying to beat an early retreat out of the madhouse morass of the Madame Tussaud’s party, but truth be told, I’m not sure I’ve ever even seen it on TV before, so it turned out I didn’t really care. Gathered, as I was, with two kick-ass young lady friends and my own handsome man, all I could think about was how much they make me laugh and smile and how-in-the-hell we were going to make it to our car on 11th Ave in high heels.
Warning: they don’t live happily ever after, and we’re kind of crying about it.
A Love Story In Milk from Catsnake on Vimeo.
I’m looking for casual sex. At least according to my OKCupid profile.
Also according to the profile, I am 5’4 (1.63 m), Gemini and it’s fun to think about, graduated from college/university, and Artistic / Musical / Writer. All those other attributes are true, so when it says I’m looking for casual sex, that also must be true. Right?
Surprisingly or not, that tiny little phrase way down at the bottom of my personalized profile full of descriptors, ruminations, quips and favorites has elicited the most notable comments and queries from men in my experience so far on OKCupid.
Here’s a smattering.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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