Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
There was a big song that came out a few years ago called “Finding Out True Love Is Blind.” Remember that? It was a guy doing his best Mick Jagger voice singing about different kinds of girls that he was going to do things to. The summer that came out, I had a goal, comrades. And that goal was to make out with the lead singer of that band. “I can do this,” I thought. “He isn’t even super attractive.”
But I never did. That would have required for me to actually do things, like go to their shows. That’s effort, man.
It’s time to abolish plastic red cups, ladies. It’s time to have adult parties. I don’t mean like XXX ADULT parties. I mean, here’s how to have a grown-up party. One that contains zero keg stands but still gallons of fun!
Get proper glassware.
You can buy martini glasses at the 99 Cent Store. It’s worth it. Not only do you look classy, but if someone drops one, you’re only out $1.00 plus whatever tax is. If you really don’t want to use real glasses, then at least use nice fake plastic glassware. NO RED CUPS. NO RED CUPS EVER. We’re adults now.
Make sure you have food.
It can be a bowl of popcorn and a plate of fruit if you don’t feel like cooking. But those who provide booze for their guests are wise to provide food as well. It’s being a smart (and kind!) host. Speaking of booze…
You want to have a romantic date. Who doesn’t right? There’s nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with wanting one of those nights that feels like a Disney film starring Audrey Hepburn. But the thing is, you don’t want it to be fussy. You don’t want it to seem like you tried to hard. So what do you do? You follow these tips for how to have a romantic non fussy date.
You want to barely plan. You want an idea, a time, and a place. And that’s it. To some people that sounds like too much; to others, too little. All you need is a time to meet up and a place and an idea of what you’ll do as soon as you see each other. So let’s say you want to meet at the Griffith Observatory. Boom, there’s your place. Now pick a time. Now decide what you’ll do when you’ll get there. “I thought we’d first take a look at the Leonard Nimoy section” — boom, there’s your idea. That’s all you need. Don’t worry about what happens after that. Boom. I like saying “boom.”
Lena Dunham is big business. Just her name evokes the strongest of human reactions. The IMDB message boards, a place where good comments go to die and bad comments grow to Voldemort proportions, has called her basically every kind of farm animal in existence. Some choice comments:
Making friends in college isn’t hard compared to making them once you’re out of college (or are even just in your mid-late twenties.) I went to college with friends I went to high school with, so I thought we’d stay tight forever. Wow, was I wrong. But hey, these things happen. Friendships need work, just like any other relationship. And when you don’t put in the work, they wither, and yes, they can die.
So it was onto new friendships. But how would I make friends? It seemed impossible. And then I realized, the answer was in front of me the whole time.
I have this little book of wedding tips from the 1950′s — 1957, to be exact. I’ve never been married or even close so I’ve never read it, and I assumed it would be your cliché 1950′s advice like, “look presentable for him” and “don’t go to bed angry.” But actually, there’s some surprisingly “modern” stuff in here.
For example, the introduction comes with a list of questions for the bride-to-be to ask herself. Questions like:
The home and its furnishings is a little 1950′s. Couples didn’t typically live together before getting married, so moving in together and getting furniture and such was a big deal. It still is, it’s why couples still have wedding registries, although it loses some effect when the couple has been living together for a while — you guys already have a blender and a cast iron skillet, stop trying to get me to give you new ones. But that’s not important right now. There’s an entire section later in the book about what the bride needs to ask for: “you’ll need 6 sheets, 1 mattress cover, 3 pillowcases (per pillow)…1 pair of summer blankets, and one of winter ones, and 1 bedspread.” And that’s just the bedding.
This week, an artist by the name of Trumble Art, depicted some of history’s most famous women as their Disney Princess selves, drawn in true Disney fashion. The women drawn were Hillary Clinton (above),
I love androgynous men and I can sum that up in two words: David Bowie.
Yes, I hold Sir David Robert Jones entirely responsible for my fascination with androgynous men and that’s just hunky dory with me.
It’s not that I only date men who look better in skinny jeans than I do (although that always happens). It isn’t that I always date men who are prettier than I am (that has happened). I don’t choose it. It’s just what attracts me. Not always, but more than not.
A lot of people don’t understand this. Especially men. They’re baffled. And I understand why. Most of the adult male’s life, is, I believe, about being strong, muscular, hard, unfeeling, and you know, manly. And what does that all mean? What does “manly” really mean? Is David Bowie not really a man because he wore eyeliner and tights? He got so many women, though!
I really don’t mean to offend anyone with this piece. I hate the idea of fetishizing a group of people. I’m saying, let’s be honest, we all have certain looks we’re attracted to. Some men like women who are “natural” looking (like the no-make-up make-up. Like Gwyneth Paltrow or something.) Others are into Zooey Deschanel-type girls. The quirky ones. Some dudes are Courtney Stodden fanatics; big tits, big hair, big heels — that’s what they want. And I want men who are comfortable enough with their feminine side to not feel the need to wear a sports jersey every single day at every single waking moment.
And I realize that my type is not everyone else’s type. Some women think my type of guys is the absolute worst type to like. When Bowie sang, “You got your mother in a whirl/she’s not sure if you’re a boy or a girl” he was singing it while women were firmly shaking their heads, not Beatle-esque squee-ing of “OH MY GAAAAWD, YES!” And that’s okay!
But you find me a man who rocks skinny jeans better than I, and….well, that’s it for me.
What’s YOUR type?
OkCupid is one of those things that when it works, it’s fantastic, and when it doesn’t work, it’s absolutely diabolical. It’s all based on the user’s experience. And it seems like users have the best experience when they’re honest on their profiles.
The idea of being honest on a dating profile sounds both smart and scary at the same time. It’s a “duh!” and a “wha?” thrown together. Here’s a guide to what you should and shouldn’t be honest about on your OkCupid profile.
– What sort of relationship you’re looking for. Want something serious? Click that box.
– Photos of you that look like you on any given day. You do not want too many photos of you that don’t actually look like you, i.e. are professionally shot and photoshopped headshots. And sure, you can throw in a photo of you all dolled up at a big event, but that unless you do major hair, make-up, and dress every day, do not use multiple photos of you looking all fancy and made-up.
I try not to ramble on too much about relationships and my greatest failures in life. Hey, it’ll be fun! Check it out.
And let me tell you something — it’s totally okay if you don’t have a date for Halloween.
Are YOU dressing up for Halloween? What/who as?
Sorry. I’m sorry. My bad. OMG I’m so sorry!!! — any of these sound way too familiar to you? I say some variation of “I’m sorry” far too often. If I do something to upset somebody, then a heartfelt “I’m sorry” is necessary and appreciated. But sometimes I feel like I’m apologizing for my very existence. I say “I’m sorry” for things that I shouldn’t say it for. And it’s exhausting.
I’ve written before about how women feel the need to apologize for themselves, their actions, and their ideas far more than men do. We’ve been subtly taught to do so. I remember working in the corporate world how many times smart young women would introduce their ideas with, “Sorry if this has been done before…” or “I think I have an idea, sorry if it won’t work…” whereas the men never once began their sentences with an apology.
Confidence is key. How many times now have you heard that in your life? Probably a lot. I see it, or some version of it, on Pinterest almost daily. But it’s true, isn’t it? When I was a little kid I was surging with confidence. As I got older, it ebbed away. Now I’m trying to get it back.
Here are some tips and tricks I’ve picked up for how to be confident. Share yours! We could all use it. There is enough confidence in this world for everyone.
– Tell yourself, “I am confident.” No, seriously. Repeat it in your mind, over and over, as though it’s fact. Then when you doubt yourself, say, “but that can’t be, because I am confident.” Absorb the message.
– Have a physical or mental list of the people in your life who love you and believe in you. When you’re ever in doubt of yourself, look at the list. Let THOSE people be your source of confidence. If you have moments where you don’t believe in yourself, read the name of the one person who does. One is all you need. One day it will be yourself!
– Eliminate weak works from your vocabulary. Start with your emails. Are you pitching a great idea to your boss? Don’t use words or phrases like “Maybe” or “I think” or “I don’t know…” because if you’re going to doubt yourself, why shouldn’t they? Put strength behind your words. Not cockiness. Don’t lead with, “This is the best idea in the history of this company and you’re an idiot not to follow it.” The Dr. House approach only works on TV.
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