Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
Sometimes, you just need some relationship help. You may want to turn to your gal pals for this, but why not try your guy friends instead? They might offer a different perspective you never even thought of. I asked some guy friends for relationship advice, and this is what they gave me. Here’s 5 pieces of relationship advice from guys.
1. Don’t over-think it.
Dating can be a tricky game, usually because we make it tricky. We tend to over-think everything and over-analyze it all. Texts, phone conversations, even the way he titled his head — personally, I know I could over-think all those things. And it will only screw me over in the end. Don’t be like me. Don’t do this.
Time already for BEST LADY TWEETS!? You bet your sweet bippy it is! Welcome to my section of the Internet, in which I pick some of the funniest/truest/very best tweets from female comedians, writers, and the like, and share them with you. I do hope you enjoy! Let’s get to the tweets!
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for once it would be nice to get a baby birth update like ” baby is amazing looks sort of mushy and mom is super cranky & very drugged out”
— Sophia Rivka Rossi (@sofifii) November 18 2021
I’ve said before and I’ll say it again: Facebook sucks. Once again, I have embarrassed myself on Facebook, and I only had the best of intentions. I got back together with my ex boyfriend. Not because I hate being single but because it feels right. At this point, our not being together only seems like a pause in the relationship; we’ve been together longer than we haven’t. So I wanted to make it official, by changing my status on Facebook to “in a relationship”, which is something I’ve never done before, ever. I thought it would be a simple process. I thought it would go over with little fanfare. How very wrong I was. You see, Facebook took it upon itself to EMAIL MY FRIENDS PERSONALLY, to let them know I’m in a relationship. If I had known it was going to do that, I wouldn’t have changed my status. Here’s how it went down. I blurred the last names and faces of those involved:
You know what that big blue bird means — it’s time again for Best Lady Tweets! This is the time in which I scour Twitter for the best, truest, smartest, funniest tweets from women on the web. I do hope you enjoy what I have in store for you!
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I now count browser tabs to fall asleep
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) November 12 2021
Have you heard of a “back-burner relationship”? Maybe you’ve had one. It’s a relationship in which there is, “a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains some degree of communication, in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement.” (Atlantic Monthly). It’s basically using someone for companionship or for sex when you’re not in a relationship, and don’t want to be in one, but just don’t want to be alone. It’s not the nicest thing to do to a person, but I suspect many of us have done it. And I also suspect many of us have been in one, but didn’t realize it. Here are some ways to tell if you’re in a back-burner relationship.
1. They only want you for sex.
Sorry for being blunt here, but this is the best indicator. If they have no interest in going out with you or introducing you to their friends and/or parents, you’re likely looking at a back-burner. Now, there’s nothing wrong with a relationship based on sex — as long as it’s between two consenting adults who both know exactly what’s up. But if your idea of a date is going out and getting to know each other, and his/her idea of a date is “come over and we’ll ‘watch a movie’” (code for sex), then you’re on different pages. And you might just be on the back-burner page.
Welcome back to Best Lady Tweets, in which I comb through Twitter to find the funniest, truest, bestsest (I know that’s not a word, it’s okay) tweets out there from hilarious and admirable women. Let’s see what we have this week!
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Guy Fieri's business cards are cold cuts
— Allison Fields (@allisonfields) November 1 2021
Women are capable of kicking some serious ass all on our own, and while a boyfriend (or girlfriend) certainly isn’t necessary, it can be awful nice to have one. They’re like the Robin to your Batman; the Mulder to your Scully. Boyfriends are supposed to add joy to your life, and if he’s doing that, you’ve got yourself a keeper. But is he the best boyfriend ever? Here are some ways to tell.
He helps you move.
And I mean really helps. He helps you pack and unpack and is there when the movers arrive and after. He offers support and lends an ear, because moving is really, really stressful. He’s there for you. I know what you might be thinking: if he’s the “best boyfriend ever,” wouldn’t you be moving in together? To which I say, not necessarily. Sometimes, couples just aren’t ready to live together, yet. When the time is right they will, and if the time isn’t right, they won’t. Doesn’t mean that both parties aren’t great at being good girlfriends/boyfriends. It just means that everyone moves at their own pace.
It’s time once again to delve into Twitter for some funny, real, excellent tweets by some of the best Lady Tweeters! Because why not take a moment to celebrate smart and hilarious women?
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I appreciate when guys open doors for me, not because of chivalry, but because my hands are usually busy carrying snacks
— alyssa kramer (@kramediggles) October 28 2021
Sometimes, you’re dating someone and all of a sudden, it hits you: this person is way more into me, than I’m into them. It’s an awkward moment when that happens. You’ve just started seeing this person and you’re not sure how you feel, but their eagerness turns you off. Has this ever happened to you? Has it happened too late? Here are some signs to help you in the future. Godspeed.
They sneak into your house via chimney.
#ThousandOaks #entrapment FFs have reached the conscious victim. Extrication expected soon. pic.twitter.com/W2O1EGX73u
— Capt Mike Lindbery (@VCFD_PIO) October 19 2021
Yup, this actually totally happened. A woman in Thousand Oaks, California, wasn’t quite ready to let her relationship with a man named Lawrence stall, so she jammed herself into his chimney, and promptly got stuck. Firefighters had to get her out with dish soap. After they took her to the hospital, she was arrested for “illegal entry and providing illegal information to a peace officer.” Need we explain why pulling the Ole Saint Nick is a bad idea? I think we need not.
Welcome back to The Best Lady tweets, in which I pour over Twitter for the best tweets from funny and smart women. Because I think we should celebrate funny and smart women, because why not? So here are some real tweets for y’all to enjoy.
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My sister asked if I stole her cream sweater. Uh, yeah. Who else would’ve stolen it? You think a burglar broke in and was like “Cute top!”
— Lauren Reeves (@laurenreeves) October 8 2021
I’ve written before about ladies who propose marriage to their gentlemen, like the girl who proposed to her guy with a pillow fort. But I’ve never seen a woman propose marriage to her man via song, and that’s exactly what this couple did. While leading the audience in song, Lisa Lewis threw a twist in there and proposed to boyfriend David Runco Gibbs during their set. Everyone cheered and it was lovely.
To Lisa, I say, that is pretty badass. We see so many romantic proposals where dudes are proposing to their ladies, but so few ladies proposing to dudes! And why is that? I think we’ve just become so sold on a certain “this is the way it has to be” mentality. I can’t even think of a moment in pop culture where a woman proposed to a man. Only 5 percent of married couples say that the woman proposed. I’m trying to picture a big rom com ending with the girl proposing to the guy, and I just can’t see it happening.
It’s time once again for the Best Lady Tweets! I scope out Twitter for the funniest, truest, greatest tweets written by women, so you don’t have to. Let’s see what we have in store for us this week!
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If you plug a waterfall into a GPS it should automatically say, “when possible, please stick to the rivers + the lakes that you’re used to.”
— Toby Herman (@tobyherman27) October 16 2021