Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
Time once again to keep your looking-balls locked on our Best Lady Tweets and laugh those looking-balls right out of your head! Here are some of the funniest, greatest tweets from women on Twitter. Check ‘em out!
The most unrealistic part of HBO's GIRLS is how little they are on their phones
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) January 14 2021
Have you ever wished for more realness in online dating? Settle For Love, a new dating website, has your back. Their tagline is “embrace perfection”, and they ask all users to list their pros and cons. You can even add photos in your list. For example, on their Kickstarter page, they play a pretty sad video of a lonely guy with thinning hair using the website to “settle” for love. He posts a photo of his balding mane along with the caption, “My hair is fading fast…” and a few other cons:
Welcome back to Best Lady Tweets! We took some time off over the holidays but we’re back again, bringing you some of the funniest and best tweets from women on Twitter! Let’s see what we have this time! And if you know of any great lady tweeters, be sure to recommend them in the comments!
How cold is it going to be tomorrow, on a scale of 1 to my interactions with my neighbors?
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) January 5 2021
A new year is once again upon us. It’s 2015! And with a new year comes a lot of reflection. Some of you may be reflecting on your current relationships, or on possible future ones, perhaps wondering what’s in store. Maybe you’re wondering if your current relationship is the “right” one for you. I’ve written before about when it’s not right, but how do you know when it is right? I have some ideas.
Another year has come and gone, and once again, it feels like it went by in the blink of an eye. Already it’s time to talk about New Years resolutions. Have you thought about making any New Years resolutions? Sometimes it seems like such a chore. Which is why I’m coming to you with New Years resolutions that don’t suck. Because I feel like, for women especially, every year we’re bombarded with resolutions like “lose weight” and/or “try this juice cleanse!” and I’m like, well, this sucks. I want something real, something I can sink my teeth into, and a juice cleanse isn’t going to do that.
So here are some resolutions, and I hope you find them helpful!
Are you still smoking? Why? You know it’s bad, m’kay? Make this the year you quit. I know, it’s nice to have smoke breaks. It’s nice to have an ice-breaker. You know what’s not nice? What smoking actually does to your body and mind. So without getting too preachy about this, I’d like to humbly suggest that you make 2015 the year that you quit. If you’re worried you can’t do it, just know that I believe in you — and sometimes, all you need is one person who does!
Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas! It’s time for gift giving. Perhaps there is someone in your life who is a blogger or writer of sorts. And you may be stumped as to what to get them. I have some ideas. Most of these gifts are free to give. Just keep an open mind. Here are last minute gifts for bloggers and writers.
Sometimes, doing our own social media can be fun as all getout, but other times, it can be tedious. If you’re a good, trustworthy friend to this blogger, offer to do their social media for a week. Post their articles on their social media on their behalf. Run their media the way you would as if they were a legit company. The idea of someone doing my social media for me makes me want to swoon. They’ll love it. Cost: just your patience and wit.
Time again for Best Lady Tweets! Let’s have a look what what funny and smart women are writing on Twitter.
When I see a little kid gleefully running away from their parents, I want to cheer them on.
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) December 14 2021
I have a Pinterest board titled “WEDDING INSANITY.” I’m obsessed with wedding blogs. At the airport, I’ve been known to buy a wedding magazine…or two. And I don’t even have a fiancé. I have a boyfriend, but we’re nowhere close to wedding blog territory. And I did this even when I was single.
I have my reasons, but who cares, really? I shouldn’t have to defend it. I know I’m not alone. In fact, the New York Times published a piece in which the writer expressed disappointment that single women were planning their dream weddings. Reporter Abby Ellin writes,
[...] even though women may be leaning in, branching out, cracking glass ceilings and forging vibrant careers in multiple sectors, for many of them, it is their wedding day that heralds true success.
To that I say…so what?
Welcome back to Best Lady Tweets! Last week was pretty fun, had some good tweets in there. This week, I bring you more of the funniest and truest tweets from women on twitter! Please enjoy. We could all use a little enjoyment lately. At least I know I could. So if you’re feeling like I am, hop along on this journey. Hooray!
I only want to eat at restaurants where it seems fairly obvious that members of the wait staff are fucking each other and it's complicated
— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) December 10 2021
I worry that in this social media obsessed place we’re in that we’re putting too much emphasis on the wrong things. For example, wedding proposals. They’re just the best, aren’t they? So sweet and full of love. But it’s getting to a point where lately, everyone feels they have to compete with each other for “THE BEST PROPOSAL EVAAAR!!!” And it shouldn’t have to be this way. There’s pressure now more than ever on couples to get engaged in a totally extravagant manner, whether or not that kind of engagement suits either of the people in the couple. People post their incredible flash mob proposals on Facebook and it makes others feel like they have to have their own incredible flash mob proposal. And it’s all just a never ending cycle of pressure and forced expectations.
This was talked about recently on Offbeat Bride, a website that suggests others “altar” their thinking. And it got a lot of people talking about their own proposals and how their family and friends were actually disappointed by them, for not being “romantic” enough or “extravagant” enough, even though the couple in question was perfectly happy with it. Here’s my favorite story:
The holidays are upon us! Anyone feeling the pressure? I think it’s time for some very funny lady tweets. I found what I think are some of the best tweets from female writers, comedians, actresses and the like, and put them together in this handy post, just for you! So go ahead and laugh the holiday stress away, with these Best Lady Tweets!
My taxi driver is adamant that the Victoria's Secret show was created and run by Victoria Beckham – he won't take no for an answer.
— Emma Gannon (@girllostincity) December 4 2021
There’s always that moment when you’re first dating someone new where you have that feeling that indicates whether or not it’s actually gonna go somewhere. And it’s either a sinking feeling, or a sunny feeling. It’s a feeling of, “Oh crap, this isn’t gonna work” or “Oh my God, I think we may actually have something here.” Both moments are full of intense emotion, and both ultimately decide which path you’re going to embark on. But sometimes, you’re caught right in the middle, and you don’t know which way you’re leaning. That’s tricky.
So here’s a list of things to check off in your mind, to help ask yourself, does my partner have long term potential? Some of them are obvious, and others, maybe a little less so. How many can you think of?
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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