Alison Steedman is the editor at Dating & Hookup. She lives in Los Angeles with her boyfriend and their histrionic cat, Charles Dickens, where she still carries on a nostalgic and long-distance love affair with her 20's in Brooklyn, NY. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @yosteedman, and you can also send her your writing at [email protected], both of which make her very happy.
Batgirl teaches her Batdah a lesson.
“Thank you for arguing with me. You taught me the correct way to disagree, as well as the incorrect way. You pushed me to my breaking point, so now I know to never go there again.”
Danielle Campoamors’s lovely Thought Catalog on essay on what the people who leave you, teach you.
Thank Your Ex
Ladies, I’ve discovered a secret. And if I were an unattached lady, I would be having much more fun*.
Have I told you guys this? One forgets what one tells the Internet, but I am traveling for the next month. This weekend, I’m hanging in Newport, RI with my dad, a man who loves me almost as much as he loves sailing.
As a kid, I had hardly learned the difference between the jib sheet and the halyard before ponies and American Girls dolls monopolized my attention. The little bit I learned, I now remember none of, which in retrospect was totally dumb.
One, because sailing is beautiful, athletic and tremendously fun. A girlfriend who used to sail competitively came with me up to Newport for the weekend and watching her rock out, even on the little boat we rented, was a sight to behold.
Two, because sailing is full of adorable, well, sailors. Newport is the home of the America’s Cup and some of the most beautiful boats I’ve ever seen. The boats (and their crews) are from all around the world. Yesterday, in the harbor we spotted all of the 12 meter boats racing in the New York Yacht Club’s annual regatta, and a slew of boats who were practicing for the upcoming Newport to Bermuda race.
Friends, 12 meter boats are like floating testosterone. Not only are they huge and fast and so, so elegant, but they’re also crewed by a certain breed of hard drinking, muscled, suntanned men who were taught never to let you pay. It’s a veritable floating dah.
The best of the bunch was the French boat, one because they waved at us and two because they were French. (Of course they waved at three girls in a boat, they’re French.) I don’t care: Vive la France!
*Okay, maybe not more fun, but a very different kind of fun. One that involved much more flirting.
I don’t know about you, but the prettier I feel. The more dudes, ladies and homeless men talk to me. How to be pretty for me, this summer, sisters, is all about the braids. Radiant! Radiant!
Also, very important to me is not washing my hair, because I am fundamentally lazy. So, contradictions, but happy ones!
This week, The Times profiled all those hot start-up guys with groomed scruffy beards. Silicon Valley, in case you haven’t heard, is full of dudes. Read: if you’re a lady, pack your “hot shoes” and get on out there. Success can be yours. Marry into it. In Silicon Valley, only 11% of start-ups had female CEO’s or founders.
I ask, when are they going to profile professionally successful female bachelorettes? Business Insider did a piece in November 2011. On the list, Pippa Middleton, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton…
Just your average everyday lady blogger here coming to you live from her local coffee show where the barista, apropos of nothing, asked me, “Do you do the Words with Friends thing?”
The answer, heir barista, was yes, but like an addict I had to give it up. Because not only do I, like 8439% of the writers in the world suffer from carpal tunnel and rotator cuff (All I need is one more screen.), but more importantly, Words with Friends turned me into a conniving, cheating bitch.
Because I refused to lose to my ex-boyfriends. Straight faced behind the protection of my passive aggressive iPhone screen I’ve pulled words like laevo, buteo, umiaq and zouks.
Maybe I’m showing you how to get addicted to drugs here, but here’s how to win every game.
Now, you don’t have to tell me this is wrong. Cheating is WRONG, kids. But as far as I’m concerned so is breaking up with me. Okay, also not wrong. Ughhhhh.
But given my generally upstanding comportment in these previously relationships, didn’t I deserve this one, tiny, spiteful action?
The answer: no. Here’s what happens. Cheating is like crack. All of a sudden that friend who worked as a writer at A Famous Magazine? I wanted to be better than her too. Except, that’s not better. It’s cheating.
So there you go, barista. This is why I can’t play Words with Friends. It’s my ex-boyfriend’s fault.
SERIOUSLY WORLD, stop making me want to shave off my flowing locks and grow a wiener only so I can weeny-whip you with my sense of irony.
According to a mind-blowing study on 2012 election coverage, women’s opinions on the issues that affect them are grossly underrepresented in the media.
Good thing this blog is secretly written by men, you know, since our opinions on what makes ladies happy are so much more accurate.
Via Slate, The Daily Beast and 4thstate.net.
Why? Because, science says so. Gaydar is, in fact, based on our ability to analyze facial features and the spatial relationship between them.
In a research by Joshua Tabak and Vivian Zayas, people were shown faces with all modifications removed (piecings, makeup, etc.) and with their hair digitally erased. 60% of the time, subjects correctly guessed sexual orientation. And keep in mind, that the people in this study saw the faces for a mere 50 miliseconds.
Interestingly, people were more likely to misjudge men as gay than women as straight. This in line with our cultural view of sexual orientation: we judge gay men more harshly, but are more lenient towards lesbians.
So, there you go, you have about a 60% chance of knowing if that cutie across the room flies your flag.
Hi! I’m violating the rules of my “Instant Gratification” column (Usually, I cover only what you can watch for free.), but it’s my column so I get to make the rules. Also, I went to an advance screening of “Snow White and The Huntsman” this week. Dealllll with ittttttt.
So here’s what you need to know about the movie as you prep your non-dates / lady dates for the weekend.
1) No longer is Snow White the image of domesticity portrayed in Disney’s 1937 feature, instead she’s reinvented as a warrior queen. Is she Katniss? No. Nobody’s Katniss. I cried through the first third of “The Hunger Games.” I did not cry through this. But, you know what, I’ll take it. Fantasy has its place, and I’ll take kicking ass over mopping and mending with seven darling little dwarves any day.
2) The job of Kristen Stewart’s vanilla, gasping face in Hollywood is nothing if not to be the canvas onto which young women project their sexual desires. So, is she choosing between two men in the movie? OF COURSE SHE IS. There’s the drunken, gruff huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) and the devoted, sweet prince (Sam Claflin). Spoiler alert, the movie is called “Snow White and the Huntsmen.” Good thing, because I kinda wanna lick the man sweat of Christ Hemsworth’s face. Funny, it’s like he’s a romance novel archetype….aka the hero of lady porn. Ladies, being above it is NO FUN.
3) Watching Kristen Stewart and Chris Hemsworth act is a little bit like watching sex cardboard. But, you know what, that’s what they’re there for. Though, K-Stew does muster a decent warrior spirit at the end, in some part because she looks good on a horse. Girl isn’t a terrible rider. She has a solid seat. (I grew up riding. Nothing like watching some actor flapping their elbows on the back of a gorgeous horse to take me out of a film.)
Huh, interesting, via Yahoo Movies:
Kristen Stewart endured cliff jumping, fight training and cold, wet English countryside filming conditions for the role of Snow White, but all of that seemed like child’s play compared with the more equine parts of the job. Stewart literally had to get back in the saddle again: “I had to get back on a horse. I’d fallen off when I was nine, and I really hurt myself. Not that that was such a traumatizing experience, it just changed the dynamic completely. And Snow White just rides her butt off in this movie. I knew that I didn’t want to fake it, and I was terrified. It was that last hurdle I had to jump over.”
4) Watching Charlize Theron as the evil queen Ravenna is one badass experience. She sucks the youth out of young girls. She picks the entrails out of dead songbirds with metal fingernails that she presumably wears for this purpose. She. will. own. you. Putting Charlize Theron in this film next to K-Stew & Hemsworth is like watching kittens battle a mountain lion. That woman can act.
5) Perhaps the best thing about the film is the production design. The faerie land. The costuming. The costuming. Indeed it was done by three-time Academy Award Winner Colleen Atwood (“Alice in Wonderland” 2010, ”Memoirs of a Geisha” 2005, “Chicago” 2002). Also, the sinister dark forest…creepy. The production work is awesome and is exactly why fantasy movies are so much fun. Who doesn’t love imagination painted on the big screen? Lovely. Fun.
6) K, actually, the other best thing is the seven dwarfs, all of whom are played by actors with real chops (including Ian McShane, Eddie Marsan, Ray Winstone and Bob Hoskins), and digitally shrunken down. Instead of whistling while they work, these guys are tiny, pragmatic little thugs surviving in a world gone bad who soften at the appearance of Snow White and pledge to protect her.
Conclusion: Go see it with the closet D&D nerd in your dah or your lady best friend. Have fun. I love summer movies. This is one.
More than words to show you feel, that your love for me is real.
“I’d like you to touch me in this many places.”
“Put it in my…”
“My mixtape brings all the boys to the yard.”
“Please give me one.”
“Let’s go analog.”
It’s official, Prince William is Kate Middleton’s Accessory. Anymore he’s just a balding married guy. Sure, he’s rich and a prince and plays polo, but the mystique is gone. The mystique has become Kate Middleton. True, where would Kate be if not for William? But no matter now, she’s arrived. And everyone wants to be her.
Do people relentlessly follow what the William is doing? No. Are there four major blogs on the first page of google alone devoted entirely to the prince? No. In fact, there isn’t a single one. And, if you google trend Kate Middleton vs. Prince William, she trounces him. In the UK, she is googled more than double the prince.
No wonder guys, I mean, that hat.
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