Alison Steedman is the editor at Dating & Hookup. She lives in Los Angeles with her boyfriend and their histrionic cat, Charles Dickens, where she still carries on a nostalgic and long-distance love affair with her 20's in Brooklyn, NY. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @yosteedman, and you can also send her your writing at [email protected], both of which make her very happy.
The bra, it seems, was not invented by Mary Phelps Jacob, the New York socialite, who in 1913 made a bra out of ribbon and handkerchiefs and then sold the patent to the Warner company. (They ultimately made 15 million dollars off of it.) As Austrian archeologists have proved, it was invented long before that.
You are my love, and I want you in my life.
…that I was staying in a fancy hotel and Kim Kardashian was in the room next to me. We had a long conversation at the doorway of her hotel room about Dating & Hookup, and I gave her a copy. She was petite compared to me (I’m 5’8.).
Also, later, I was walking behind her on the stairs at one point and the backs of her thighs were full of cellulite. This made me feel both happy and vindicated and then ashamed of my happiness and vindication.
I don’t know what to make of this, but I blame the fame engine.
It’s speed dating for people who like to farm.
“Here’s how it works: Each of the ladies will be assigned to a specific row, with more instructions to follow after “we get you into the beds,” O’Leary said, prompting nervous snickers that erupted into laughter as the tension eased. The women were given a crash course in how to identify a weed versus a vegetable or fruit, and then instructed to pass that information along to the men, who rotated from each bed every three minutes.
“Please don’t pull out our crops. This is a working farm,” O’Leary said before sending them off.
With the dating in full swing, O’Leary moved between the neat rows of lettuce, strawberries, eggplant, zucchini and tomatoes. She said she likes the idea of helping gardeners and people with similar interests find each other. But seeing people weed her farm is also nice.
“I’m not a hookup coach, I’m a farmer,” O’Leary said, her sinewy hands and dirt-incrusted fingernails proving her point.
Have any of you read “Girl with a Scrabble Tattoo, a Missed Connection Swirls Out of Control“? It is one of our most popular Guest Blogs, ever. While it’s a good and (totally crazy!) piece, I think it also succeeds because of the just unending fascination with Missed Connections. It’s that voyeurism, loneliness and a sense of “what could have been” all wrapped up in one.
When I lived in New York, I knew a girl who kept getting Missed Connections posted about her. She was the barista at my local coffee shop. Apparently, this one guy just kept posting about her but never spoke to her even though he seemed to buy coffee from her all the time. She thought it was a little stalkerish (I agree.). Why not just ask the girl out? Or, you know, start with “Hi.”
There can be really something haunting about Missed Connections, I think. And a street art project, I Wish I Said Hello tackles this theme by using stickers to post Missed Connections in the places where they actually occurred. From their mouths exactly…
We find there’s something poetic about this desperate hope for the re-encounter, but also something very ironic about using the internet as the tool to achieve it. It turns out that in the era of social media, when we’re supposedly connected to anyone in the world, the network of missed connections is one of the most inefficient ones.
I Wish I Said Hello attempts to bring missed connection stories back to the public space in the form of street art.
Our goal is not to be another platform for reconnection, rather than a celebration of everyday poetics, a physical mapping of a digital network, a commentary on the role of technology in human communication.
Have you read any Missed Connections that appeared in your ‘hood? The project is collaborative.
PS. Does anyone know a story in which a Missed Connection lived happily ever after? Comment if you do. I’m curious.
Dear Phil (Bob, Joe, Ian, Jake, etc.),
I totally enjoyed hanging with you today. And while I was surprised when you tried to hold my hand (I’m sorry I don’t feel that connection with you.), I felt really refreshed and happy after our time together. I’ve been so busy at work — being outside and in such good company felt wonderful. I didn’t realize how much I needed that. Perhaps we can stay in touch?
Sally, May, Kate, Jenny, Christina, etc.
P.S. That iced coffee place was ah-mazing! What was it called again?
Via David Brooks.
“I couldn’t tell if it was Jersey or Sierra Leone.”
Phew! Relax guys, you’ll never have to worry about all the problems that come with real ladies again. Sure, virtual girlfriends don’t have lady parts like I do, but then again real sex can be so much ickier and difficult than it look on the internet. And give it time, they’ll fix that user experience. The age of virtual partners is here.
This YouTube video showcases an augmented reality system that, used in conjunction with virtual reality glasses, can project the Japanese cartoon pop-star Hatsune Miku into a user’s life in the role of girlfriend.
In the video, the user and video-uploader Alsionesvx takes Hatsune to the park, where she walks with him and waits for him docilely, her long, fake, blue pigtails blowing in the wind. Then, about two minutes into the video, we see Hatusune in what one assumes is Alsionesvx’s kitchen, where, to show her ability to respond, a disembodied arm touches her lightly on the head, fingers her tie and then…punches her twice in the head.
Around here, we try and be really respectful of the fact that way we develop and exist in relationships is changing at the rate of technology. We embrace change.
But, I seriously don’t know what to say about this. It seems bizarre. But, in a recent conversation with two successful, not weird dudes who play a lot of video games, both men jovially assented: “Yeah, man, I can totally lose 10 hours in Skyrim.”
So, maybe this is just like a walking, talking Sims? Except, embracing change, doesn’t mean blindness regarding the new challenges that arise when things well, change.
Technology that allows men to act out any range of desires from violence to romance on fairytale, submissive women, seems truly dissociative — even if they aren’t the loneliest, most pathetic dorks on the planet.
But then, romance and relationships are proving to be an increasing focus for young men. Women have survived, and we’ve been raised on the relationship fairytale, even though it’s unrealistic. Is it man’s turn now? To be fair, I used to beat up my Ken dolls, too. Only wait, I was nine.
I’m going to go ahead and hold the line on this one. Verdict: creepy.
“Now all you have to do is pick out your perfect prince, and zero in for the kill.”
Don’t forget, never “hang around with uggos!”
“Maybe young women don’t wonder whether they can have it all any longer, but in case any of you are wondering, of course you can have it all. What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don’t be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I’ve had four careers and three husbands.”
It seems to make it extra hard, when people scrutinize how exactly you execute a difficult and brave thing.
The Atlantic: “Is There a Right Way to Come Out of the Closet?”
The fact is, Cooper’s adamant and long-held refusal to discuss his personal life, even though he’s written a memoir about himself and hosts a talk show that’s all about other people’s personal lives, has probably done more harm to the common gay psyche than his recent coming out has done good. And we’re strange creatures for saying that he did something “classily” when the real classy thing would have been to acknowledge the truth long before his 45th birthday. Cooper has been an advocate for fairness and openness in his professional career, so denying a fact of his own life — as open as it might have been to friends and family, it was not to the rest of the world — seems to imply that, well, openness can only get you so far, that he stood to lose something by being honest. I know eventually we’d like to get to a place where it seriously is no big deal, but we’re not there yet. Every big, loud bit helps. What doesn’t help is praising a shuffle like this as a somehow better or more elegant way to come out.
CBS News: ‘Chely Wright: Anderson Cooper’s Coming Out “Perfect”‘
“I think he gave a genuine response,” she said. “Andrew Sullivan reached out to him, said ‘do you have comments on this article?’ And he gave a genuine response and said, ‘And by the way, share this with your readers.’ I don’t think in any way it was a cowardly move, a sneaky, get-it-under-the-radar-on-a-holiday-weekend. I thought it was just a real genuine, human response to a question asked, and I think, you know, I’m certainly – I can’t say what Anderson Cooper thinks, but I would imagine that at some point recently, he probably said to himself, ‘Why am I not out? Why haven’t I not done this? OK, I’ll just do it.’”
Anderson Cooper comes out on Andrew Sullivan’s column on The Daily Beast.
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