Alison Steedman is the editor at Dating & Hookup. She lives in Los Angeles with her boyfriend and their histrionic cat, Charles Dickens, where she still carries on a nostalgic and long-distance love affair with her 20's in Brooklyn, NY. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @yosteedman, and you can also send her your writing at [email protected], both of which make her very happy.
I sort of don’t know what to say about this. I mostly just feel icky.
Kiki Kannibal, the teen internet sensation who ended up a victim of extreme harassment and rape (see the CRAZY Rolling Stone story), has a little sister. And she’s online, doing the same thing.
Meet Dakota Rose, aka Kotakoti. She looks like living Barbie, except maybe designed specially for pedophiles. Barely legal. Compelling.
Her pictures have gone particularly viral in Asian and Muslim countries. Weird.
Newsflash: the internet may feel unreal, but the connections we make with it can be very, very real and very, very powerful.
When I was 14, my mother didn’t let me go riding around in cars with 18 year-old boys. I would think that she wouldn’t have let talk to them online either. Techno-romance or real-life romance, sometimes the same rules still apply.
This Ask Men column devotes nearly 1000 words to “Staying Faithful in Sin City.”
No offense, but if you need to read an Ask Men article on how not to cheat on your partner when on vacation, then your problems are likely a little more complex. Also, that picture! If that’s how you see yourself homefry, then likely this one of those moments when reality and your vision of yourself don’t exactly synch.
According to the Ask Men first impressions poll, 50% thought this piece was funny, and 25% of readers were saddened. It appears I am not in the minority, thank goodness.
That said, 25% of readers report that it “made them think.”
Made them think?! Don’t strain yourself, caveman.
Image via elvissa
My hard drive crashed on Tuesday. You know when they say, “always back it up?” And then you do for the longest time, but then you get lazy and you get a new MacBook Pro. And it’s so nice and fancy that it couldn’t possibly fail so you don’t get around to backing it up? And then it crashes shortly after the warranty expires?
Mhmm, that would be me I’m talking about.
No joke, the loss of my computer is causing me a degree of physical agony. I slept eleven hours last night like a depressed person. Don’t ask me the cost to fix that bad boy and recover my data, or the time it will take them to do so. Up to a month if it’s bad.
Our computers mean big things in our lives. Technology is one of the primary way I connect with everyone in my life, professionally, personally, romantically. Before I moved out to LA to be with my boyfriend, our relationship existed basically over video chat. It felt distancing and tired.
However, when I remove technology from my life even for TWO DAYS I feel far more alienated than I ever did when staring at that stupid video chat camera experiencing a “so close yet so far away” phenomenon.
All this to say, my two days computerless has reminded me of this great TED talk I watched on the Internet’s affect on trust. See guys, technology yields goodness! Facebook friend request that man! The Internet is about idealism and joy!
I love the internet. I love my computer. I want it baaaaaack.
photo credit: Helga Esteb / Shutterstock.com
And, um, judging from this video, Zac and Taylor might not be ‘dating’ but he is DEFINITELY in her dah.
via NY Daily News
Is it just me, or do the Oscars kinda stink this year?
(Shameless plug for my new favorite movie Take Shelter, which isn’t nominated, not even Michael Shannon who freaking killed it in the lead. A total crime.)
Movies influence life, culture and social point-of-view. And The Oscars influence movies. An Academy Award nod can add millions to the profit of a film, increase it viewership exponentially and launch the careers of its cast and creators. So who are the people that hold this power?
54% over 60
2% under 40
Hardly a fair representation of the diversity American consciousness and experience. Remember when freaking Crash beat Brokeback Mountain? I’m sure the fact that old white men are more likely to be homophobic had nothing to do with that. And why isn’t Bridesmaids nominated? Because apparently comedy isn’t as legitimate or affecting as drama. Also, do you know what a big deal it was to have a lady comedy be a blockbuster? I digress.
Point is, we are widely affected and influenced by the films we watch. Narrative provides the opportunity to empathize with different people and thereby broaden our experience. So, what happens when a bunch of old white men have undue influence on the films that are watched and honored? Experiences are are narrowed and skewed by that viewpoint.
At WTF?! we talk sometimes about how media can influence our expectations in relationships. Well, I don’t know about you, but if I took my grandfather’s* advice in movies I’d be watching Forrest Gump on repeat, and if I took his advice on relationships I’d be married by now, and far unhappier for it.
*I love my grandfather bunches, regardless, to be clear.
Read even more on The Academy in this great LA Times piece.
Image via HerryLawford
Among other things, the consistent use of “u” for “you” in this text conversation gives me anxiety.
iPhone screengrabs are a dangerous thing. In the the age o’Internet it’s pretty impossible NOT to put it in writing.
If you’ve made it this far, the barrage continues, here…
Don Draper is the sexy train wreck you can’t look away from. He does it with such flair! He’s so vulnerable when he makes (another) bad decision!
Great for TV. Bad for life.
Mad Men, the drama returns March 25th.
I’m already talking about it.
I’m even publishing this promo video, which is nothing more than a tease. But if you clicked on this post, you’re just like me and you’re totally going to watch it anyway.
Go ahead Don, say yes.
Image via ElvertBarnes
It’s crazy how talking dirty would have been totally risque maybe one? two? decade ago.
In college, I always used to say that I’d meet the love of my life at Carrier Library or U-Rec (our athletic center). Because if any dude spoke to me at either, he’d have to love me for my mind — I always looked terrible when I was there.
Alison + College = Sweatpants
I didn’t meet the love of my life in college. And certainly not in the library. Probably because I spent about 10x more time drinking Beast Light (is that capitalized?) and making out / trying to make out with douche bags as I did at the gym or the library.
I had the emotional maturity of an amoeba when I was 21. But you know, that was its own sort of fun.
Point: It all tied into the sweet-nerd-girl-poetry fantasy so perfectly articulated here.
Image via mr.throk
Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan, an indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego): The wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start.
Yuanfen (Chinese): A relationship by fate or destiny. This is a complex concept. It draws on principles of predetermination in Chinese culture, which dictate relationships, encounters and affinities, mostly among lovers and friends.
Cafuné* (Brazilian Portuguese): The act of tenderly running your fingers through someone’s hair.
Retrouvailles** (French): The happiness of meeting again after a long time.
Ilunga (Bantu): A person who is willing to forgive abuse the first time; tolerate it the second time, but never a third time.
La Douleur Exquise (French): The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.
Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love.
Ya’aburnee (Arabic): “You bury me.” It’s a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person, because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
Forelsket: (Norwegian): The euphoria you experience when you’re first falling in love.
Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist.”
Definitions compiled @ BigThink
Image via Elias Callejo
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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