Every once and a while we, you’re sittting at home with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s like some effing stereotype wondering what is wrong with your love life. But friends, it could be worse. You could like, be chilling in a chastity belt circa 1557.
Oh, and for the record, I Google Imaged “chastity belt” so you don’t have to. Eyes. Burning. Whatever you guys…just make sure you have a safe word.
Okay, let’s get to it…
CHASTITY BELT FACTS
PRESENTING THE BELTS
One from Venice. Gah.
Oh, this heart totally makes it waaaaaayyyy better.
Kinda elegant at the Musée du Cluny
(Visit Brian’s Page of Antique Weirdness!!! Or, don’t…)
Again with the teeth!!
Looks kinda like my pancake flipper.
I feel like I could get around this one.
I feel like I could NOT get around this one.
Also, what the eff?! is it like to try and SIT in this thing. Or, like WALK. Through my incredulity & perverse fascination I’m only getting to this revelation now.
Dudes, you are not immune.
Masturbation is the devil’s handiwork!
Alison Steedman is the editor at Dating & Hookup. She lives in Los Angeles with her boyfriend and their histrionic cat, Charles Dickens, where she still carries on a nostalgic and long-distance love affair with her 20's in Brooklyn, NY. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @yosteedman, and you can also send her your writing at [email protected], both of which make her very happy.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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