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Ask Jess
Dear Jess,
I shared a cigarette with a guy at work yesterday, and now I feel really guilty about it. I’ve been in a relationship for over a year and I love my boyfriend. Am I an asshole?
Why didn’t I see this coming? The other guy was obviously trying to get close to me…I feel stupid, like I should have known better than to share the cigarette. I’ve been beating myself up over it.
What do you think? Should I forgive myself? Or is there something wrong with me? Am I loose? I kinda feel like a slut.
Sincerely,
No Foam Latte (With A Smoke On The Side)
Hey Jess,
I just tricked a Hot Sex Prospect – who was also a Girl Who Just Blew Me Off like three years ago – into going out with me tonight. How should I proceed?
Remember you’re advising an idiot, so please simplify things for me.
Thanks!
Idiot With A Second Chance To Score
Dear Jess,
My question comes from the very early stages of potential romance. This has come up a few times when I’ve been hanging out with girls in the non-dating stage, but when there may be some interest…
Why would a girl tell me about other guys who ended up having some unrequited feelings for her? Why bring up guys whose advances she shut down, or who kept fruitlessly pursuing her? Or laid it on the line in some way, past the point when she thinks her lack of interest should’ve been clear to them?
What does it mean? Am I reading too much into it? Do women just think this makes a good story? Or, is it a warning against making an awkward move? Or could it be some kind of invitation, a subtle reminder that she’s single (but with high standards!)?
I’ve usually responded by thinking to myself, “Well, I don’t want to be a story for you with the next dude you hang out with, so…” And then I try to move on. But would love the female perspective.
Love,
I’m Cooler Than Those Other Guys, Right??
Dear Jess,
My question comes from the very early stages of potential romance. This has come up a few times when I’ve been hanging out with girls in the non-dating stage, but when there may be some interest…
Why would a girl tell me about other guys who ended up having some unrequited feelings for her? Why bring up guys whose advances she shut down, or who kept fruitlessly pursuing her? Or laid it on the line in some way, past the point when she thinks her lack of interest should’ve been clear to them?
What does it mean? Am I reading too much into it? Do women just think this makes a good story? Or, is it a warning against making an awkward move? Or could it be some kind of invitation, a subtle reminder that she’s single (but with high standards!)?
I’ve usually responded by thinking to myself, “Well, I don’t want to be a story foryou with the next dude you hang out with, so…” And then I try to move on. But would love the female perspective.
Love,
I’m Cooler Than Those Other Guys, Right??
Finally, at long last…we’ve got our first Ask Jesscolumn up! Keep sending in your questions to , with “Ask Jess” in the subject line, and I’ll get to as many of them as possible.
Enjoy!
———–
Dear Jess,
I’ve been hanging out with this guy – a mutual friend introduced us because we work in the same industry and I was looking to switch jobs, so she thought that he might be able to help me out. We immediately hit it off, and after a few coffees and happy hours, we started making out on a regular basis. He’s really great and has never seemed like a game player. I have high hopes for where this could go.
BUT, something weird is happening. We hung out four times last week, which is way more often than before. And then for three days, he didn’t respond to any of my emails or texts! Nothing! He finally replied to one of my emails a few minutes ago with a short, cute joke, but he didn’t ask me to hang out…
How should I respond? Can I be the one to suggest that we hang out? You know, female empowerment and all that? He’s being strange, but I have trouble believing that he’s suddenly blowing me off or isn’t into me anymore. We were having so much fun!
Love,
Trying Really Hard Not To Be That Stalker Girl
dahGRAMS
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