Remember you’re advising an idiot, so please simplify things for me.
Idiot With A Second Chance To Score
Nice work! I’m sensing that you’re a checklist kinda guy, so let me break down my advice for you:
1) Drink! With her, not beforehand (this is key – showing up obviously tipsy when she is sober and just out of work is an immediate turn-off). This may not be the most PC piece of advice, but there’s no better way for you both to shake off the nerves and break down any barriers that may keep you feeling glued to the opposite sides of the dinner table or bar booth.
2) Ask her lots of questions and look super interested in her answers. Ideally, you should BE super interested in her answers. But hey, she’s your Hot Sex Prospect – and not your Girlfriend Prospect – for a reason. Your call.
3) Push yourself to be physically flirtatious all night. I mean, the point is to actually hook up with a Hot Sex Prospect, right?
4) Make a strong move at the end (or middle, if the mood strikes you) of the night. You need to show her that you’re manly and confident, and that you know what you want and aren’t going to let her blow you off again. Confidence is SEXY. If you truly believe – or are just great at faking – that she should definitely, totally want you, then she’ll probably start thinking, “Hmmm…maybe he’s right?”
5) Forget the fact that she once blew you off. Don’t let it intimidate you! Three years in girl-time is like a century. The fact that she blew you off then means almost nothing now. We girls change our minds pretty often, especially about guys. I like to think it’s one of our charms (gentlemen, I’m not looking for a response to that, thanks!).
WTF?! BOTTOM LINE: Drink a little, ask her tons of questions, touch her a lot, and eventually go in for the kill. Make. It. Happen.
And now a few Don’ts for tonight:
1) Don’t say anything you don’t mean just to get her into bed, or out of sweet revenge for that time she blew you off. Since you’re one of our readers, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you’re too awesome and legit and mature of a guy to knowingly treat a girl like an asshole. You probably haven’t pulled a move like that since high school, right? Right?!
2) DON’T GET WASTED. Loose nerves and easy laughs are good. Drunken bumbling and bad decisions…not so much.
3) You’re looking to hook up, so don’t send her mixed signals by taking her somewhere that isn’t sexy (i.e. McDonald’s, a philosophical lecture series, your niece’s First Communion party, etc.). Set the scene.
4) Don’t be surprised if you actually find yourself liking her. Girls are pretty awesome, when you succeed in looking past the boobs for a few seconds. Be open-minded about where the night could lead! Give her a chance to be more than your Hot Sex Prospect, just like she’s giving you a chance to…not be The Guy Who She Just Blew Off.
5) Don’t forget to tell me how it goes! Dammit, I’m invested now.
Thanks flytingpig for the photo!
Jess is the co-creator of Dating & Hookup, alongside her childhood best friend Becky Lynch, and is the author of the book - yep! - Dating & Hookup. She never tires of hearing your post-dating stories. She wants you to enjoy your love life, and is full of advice on how to do so.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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