We spend a lot of time on this site asking – what do men think? About this confusing non-date or that new techno-romance app or the best course of action for a crush or why guys are mean sometimes. Shouldn’t we just freakin’ ask them?
This week’s dah Guy - a 27-year-old consultant from NYC – tackles girlfriends, Facebook and the dreaded question of who should handle the bill at the end of a non-date…
To submit your questions for next week’s column, email us at with “Ask A dah Guy” in the subject line!
Question #1: What makes a girl “girlfriend material?”
The short answer is that it depends on the guy, but I’ll try not to turn this into a personal ad…
There’s a strong compatibility side to it. A “girlfriend” has to be worth spending your free time with, so there have to be enough mutual interests, conversation topics, one-on-one activities, and things that you can make plans for or that let you just hang out.
But it’s not all just between the two of you. I wouldn’t want a “girlfriend” who couldn’t be my +1 for various social situations. So at the very least, we’re talking presentable. But ideally more than that – never hurts to impress the dudes.
Question #2: Why would a guy de-friend a girl on Facebook? Especially one who he’s been hooking up with?
I’m not sure what to think here. I’d like to think my reaction would look kind of like this guy.
De-friending someone who you’re in regular contact with – whatever that may consist of – doesn’t make much sense to me. I can’t believe this is all that widespread in modern romance. But it can’t be a promising sign for your relationship.
Obviously, if you’re assaulting him with embarrassing wall posts or something, there’s your answer… Outside of that, you’re probably dealing with an uninterested, manipulative, or just douchey guy.
Question #3: When do you think guys should pay for a girl, and when should they split the bill?
Call me old-fashioned, but I think it’s definitely still on the guy to pay the first few times out. Drinks, dinner, whatever. I don’t think the girl is obligated to make any more than a token offer to pay for her side. Try a little too hard there, and he’ll think you want to make sure you don’t owe him anything and can turn down the next invite. Or he’ll take you up on it…
The more regular it gets, the closer to a relationship, then the woman paying is more a sign that you want it to last, financially and in other ways.
So, not sure I gave an answer here, but for what it’s worth, as a guy I’m fine picking up the check the first few times.
Ladies – submit questions for next week’s “Ask A dah Guy” by emailing us at [email protected]!
dah Guy is here to answer YOUR questions about love, sex, romance, ambiguous text messages and all things post-dating. No question is too big, small or weird for him. Email him at [email protected] with “Ask a dah Guy” in the subject line to get your love quandaries answered.
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