This week’s dah Guy - a 31-year-old musician nestled deep in The South – is here to answer the questions YOU submitted this past week. What does he think of your outfit? Is he reading into your ambiguous non-date? Which guy is he hoping to be in your dah?
To submit your questions for next week’s column, email us at with “Ask A dah Guy” in the subject line!
And now for some answers…
Question #1: What do guys really think of high heels? I’ve been trying to train myself to wear them lately, but they’re just so damn uncomfortable…do they make a real difference, from a guy’s perspective?
There are two types of guys in this world: guys who like a girl in sneakers, and jerks who like girls in high heels.
I mean, sure, it depends on your preference. But if you meet a guy who likes you in high heels instead of sneakers… RUN (preferably in sneakers). Those guys are the scum of the earth. For real. Also, they will cheat on you… multiple times.
Stop with the high heels – unless you plan on being a stripper or a hooker, there is no need. Find a guy who likes you in jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers? That guy is a keeper.
Question #2: If I invite a guy out with a group of my friends – a Group-Non-Date, I guess – will he read into that as a sign that I’m romantically into him?
Let me school you in one basic principle when it comes to men… if you pay ANY ATTENTION AT ALL to a guy, he will think that you like him.
Ask him to hang out? Check. Ask him for the time? Yup. Somehow make awkward eye contact on the subway? TOTALLY thinks you want him. Guys start with their hopes up, and then they work their way down. Anything you ever say, do, or insinuate towards a guy will ALWAYS send him signals that you are in love with him. ALWAYS.
However, I’m not necessarily saying that girls are always being clear enough in their signals. A guy might THINK that EVERY girl in the room likes him, but as we’ve all learned, that doesn’t mean they do, and that doesn’t mean we KNOW that they do. So when you ask him to hang out in a group or whatnot, that DEF gives us a hint of hope. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you are sending a clear signal.
Here’s the problem – guys are the ones who ALWAYS have to make the first move, even when they’re young. The lifetime of rejection (even the hot guys get rejected sometimes) does a lot to your psyche. So it either turns jerks into bigger, louder jerks, or sensitive guys into uncertain, introverted guys. Obviously you want to steer clear from the jerks. But then you should also know that you have to try extra hard to let the sensitive dude KNOW you are into him. So again, asking him to hang out with a group will absolutely be a hint of hope but not a certain signal to him.
Also let me take this time to tell ALL of you girls out there: HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. He might act like your friend, maybe even SAY he’s your friend, but he really just wants you. THAT is why he hangs out with you – not because you are smart or funny.
Question #3: Which guy in Dating & Hookup would you most/least like to be and why?
Personally, I would like to be the Boyfriend Prospect. I guess this could vary, depending on what kind of guy you are. Chances are, though, that if I’m hanging with you a lot and I’m even in your dah, then I would want to be the Boyfriend Prospect.
Because why am I wasting time with you if I don’t want to be the main event? Well, I guess you could say to get down your pants. You might be right, but those are just the guys who like chicks in high heels.
I would never want to be the Accessory. What am I? A handbag? Either I have your undivided attention, or I’m out.
Ladies – submit questions for next week’s Ask A dah Guy by emailing us at with “Ask a dah Guy” in the subject line!
dah Guy is here to answer YOUR questions about love, sex, romance, ambiguous text messages and all things post-dating. No question is too big, small or weird for him. Email him at [email protected] with “Ask a dah Guy” in the subject line to get your love quandaries answered.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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