When men say that they like, “a woman with curves” what they mean is chest curves and ass curves. They don’t mean, “Yes, please have a little tummy that spills over the top of your underwear.” They mean, “I love big boobs.” They don’t mean, “Girl, I love it when you gain 10 pounds and look 5 months pregnant.” (Well, some men want that, but those are not the men I’m referring to. That’s a festish, not the norm.) They mean, “I don’t like a flat nonexistent ass” not “I love it when your thighs ripple and wobble when you walk.” Curvy means a large chest and a tiny waist and a rounded butt. Curvy does not mean a curved lower tummy and armpit fat. Next time you hear a man say he likes a woman with curves, ask him for an example. He’s going to say Kate Upton, not Melissa McCarthy. And I hate that.
There’s so much bullshit out there. Everyone loves to say, “Marilyn Monroe was a size 16.” Yes, that’s in 1960s sizing which has changed over the last 40 years. Today she would be a size 4. Have you seen that girl’s tiny waist? And as she got more famous, she lost more weight. (She briefly gained some when she was pregnant in “Some Like It Hot” but then miscarried.) Look at every film she’s ever done and you will realize that everyone is full of bullshit. She was the “right” kind of curvy. That’s just how sizes were marked. Then vanity sizing was invented creating a generation of confused fucking women.
And then photoshop was invented. Photographers have been touching up photos practically since photography was invented but never to the drastic degree that it is now. People are taking actresses who are already skinny and pretty and are making them tiny and mathematically stunning, and it’s insulting. Look at Kristin Wiig on the cover of “Vanity Fair” this month. “Vanity Fair” are you fucking kidding me? Are we supposed to pretend that’s what she looks like? Why do you hate women? Compare this cover to the “Marie Claire” Kristin Wiig cover from a few months and you’ll see what I mean (Google it.) Seriously, you do this all the time, fuck you, “Vanity Fair.”
A few years ago Mischa Barton gained weight and everyone attacked her, saying things like, “Lose some fucking weight!” How about instead of that, you change your fucking perspective?
I’ve struggled with my weight ever since I’ve hit puberty. I have never been this heavy in my entire life. And I know that when I say that people look at me and say, “Fuck you bitch, I’m 200 pounds, try being me, try getting insulted every fucking day for how I look, I wished I weighed what you do.” I get that. But we all have our own issues, and mine aren’t any more insignificant than yours are, because we’re all battling a common enemy.
I don’t know what we can do to change this. Something’s gotta give. We deserve better than this. We deserve a worldwide acceptence of looking like a person who eats regularly and doesn’t have a personal trainer at their disposal. We deserve to have a woman like Lena Dunham who is proud of her body and doesn’t get trashed by men and women alike for it. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
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