Bras have come a long way since they were invented in ancient Greece about a million years ago out of grape leaves or whatever. The modern bra as we know it was patented in 1914 by Mary Phelps Jacob, but you bet your sweet bippy some ancient Grecians were bra-ing it up somehow, I’ll bet you fifty bucks. You know where to find me. On the Internet.
And centuries later, there’s a bra out now that doubles as a face mask with a radiation censor, and unlike everything I’ve written up to this point, that is not a joke. (Although neither was the Mary Phelps Jacob bit.) It’s called the RAD Emergency Bra and it was invented by Dr. Elena Bodnar, founder and President of the Trauma Risk Management Research Institute in Chicago. The cups double as facemasks.
This is not a joke, I swear. The harlequin romance-esque photo makes it seem like a joke, but it isn’t; it’s actually a pretty brilliant idea. You can purchase them for your lovely breasts here, unless you have A-cup breasts, in which, in case of an emergency, you’re fucked. The sizes range from 32B — 44D.
Oh and also, the bra won the 2009 Ig Nobel Public Health Prize. Seriously! Not a joke.
This bra, however…
…is a joke but is also not. It’s called — delightfully — the wine rack. It’s available on one of my favorite websites of all time, Stupid.com.
So basically, you fill this bra with booze and you drink it as discreetly as you can, or you just go balls out, take your shirt off, and have a real good time. And for responsible hikers, you can fill the bra with water and electrolytes or whatever healthy people do. Really, there’s a lot you can do with it. You have to admit, this is a good idea. Or at the very least, you have to admit it’s an idea.
Both of these bras are innovative. One of them could save your life. The other one could save you at a very dull party. Depending on your lifestyle, it’s up to you which one.
PHOTO CREDITS: Ebbra.bigcartlel.com, Stupid.com.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
Follow Dating & Hookup on Instagram
Follow Jess on Instagram
Follow Becky on Instagram
Follow me on Twitter