Sometimes, you just need some relationship help. You may want to turn to your gal pals for this, but why not try your guy friends instead? They might offer a different perspective you never even thought of. I asked some guy friends for relationship advice, and this is what they gave me. Here’s 5 pieces of relationship advice from guys.
Dating can be a tricky game, usually because we make it tricky. We tend to over-think everything and over-analyze it all. Texts, phone conversations, even the way he titled his head — personally, I know I could over-think all those things. And it will only screw me over in the end. Don’t be like me. Don’t do this.
To quote one guy friend, “The road to unhealthy co-dependency is to gradually merge your social lives totally. Don’t. Wanting to do something on your own isn’t selfish — it’s healthy.” I totally agree with him. Wanting some time to yourself isn’t a bad thing at all. Remember that whole “absence makes the heart grow fonder” thing? And no one is suggesting you take a massive solo vacation from your partner, just that you each have your own interests and activities that help you grow as a person. Because you’re two separate people, after all.
Guys aren’t mind readers — they don’t know what you’re thinking and feeling, so you have to tell them. If you’re upset about something, don’t pretend that you’re not, or even worse, don’t make them guess what it is you’re mad about. Just say it, out loud. I’m not suggesting you start a fight; what I’m suggesting is that you communicate clearly. Leave out the guesswork and just be real about the whole thing.
You want to take your time in any new relationship and not rush it. One dude points out, “don’t rush to call it a relationship” either. Enjoy your time together for what it is — a great time. If it leads to something more, awesome! But don’t put pressure on yourself or the relationship to make it be a relationship.
The same dude who advised me not to over-think it, also gave me this gem: “just remember to treat them like a person. Just because it’s a date doesn’t mean they cease to be a human being, they don’t become some magical creature who speaks a foreign language (unless they’re like a French werewolf or something). Treat them like you’d want to be treated and don’t blow things out of proportion just because you’ve put the label of ‘date’ on it.” In other words: be breezy, yo.
Photo by Julien GONG Min via Flickr.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Dating & Hookup she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
datingandhookup.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click to submit your work to us. We love you.
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